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Every year the high school athletic season starts, I get a handful of calls mostly from people I know about their child, or even grandchildren, regarding high school athletics.
The calls usually focus around one thing — the student is a freshman or sophomore and has a chance to be a member of the school’s varsity team, or sometimes a freshman playing up on the junior varsity team.
The question revolves around playing time: Are they going to get a lot of playing time or would they be better served playing at their grade level where the competition would be less but the playing time greater?
My answer — there is no right answer.
Honestly it depends on the family, but more importantly, the individual athlete in each family.
Some kids are wired to compete, while others are more laid back, shying away from the competition.
Once again, there is no right or wrong.
I had a chance to see/experience this first-hand when my son was a sophomore lacrosse player at Foothill. He was a talented goalie, but the senior was one of the top players in the United States.
The varsity coaches asked my son if he wanted to be the backup on the varsity with no guarantee of playing time or play for the junior varsity where he would get a ton of time on the field.
I let him make the decision, and I think he took about three seconds before opting for the varsity because he knew how beneficial the practice reps would be. He is wired to always seek out the challenge no matter how formidable the opposition.
And that fell into my belief system of always striving to compete against the best and not being afraid of any situation no matter how much competition you will be facing.
There are times where you will compete against older, bigger, faster, and of course, better kids, but that’s where character development comes from.
Others prefer to shy away from the tougher roads, are laid back, and just have life be all flowers and warm, fuzzy, feelings. And that works just great for them.
For me, I have always thought the American way, or at least was the American way, was to lace ’em up and compete. There might be some bumps and bruises along the way and things are not always going to be great, but at the end of the day, you will be a better, stronger person.
It’s a great life lesson: take the tougher route and develop your character and as you grow older and get into the real world, you will be better prepared.
As a father of seven, with now nine grandkids, I understand wanting to be protective of them as they grow, making life as easy as possible, but in the end, you are not doing them any favors.
Parents are not going to always be there and the stronger the kids become as they grow makes it an easier transition when they are in the real world and must make decisions on their own.
Give them all the tools they need and let them nurture their skill set.
This applies to school as well. I see every day where kids are complaining about how tough a teacher is, and I have even had parents complain about how hard some teachers were.
At the end of the day, I respect that parents will do what they think is the best for their kids. I just want to ask that maybe step back and try to big-picture the moment instead of making life as easy as possible.
Be there, but let them face challenges along the way.
As I said earlier, there is no right answer. Each set of parents needs to determine how their child is wired, and learning it is vital to help your child grow.
I close with one thought/question: If you never encourage your child to face tough situations, how will you know how strong they are?
Editor’s note: Dennis Miller is a contributing sports writer for Embarcadero Media Foundation’s East Bay Division. To contact him about his Pleasanton Preps column, email acesmag@aol.com.
Opportunities to grow Companionship is helpful as part of development.