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At a restaurant, you may try in vain to decipher a menu, muffle a scream to attract your AWOL server, or wonder if your food will ever arrive.
In theory, dining out should be a pleasurable experience to satisfy your hunger and thirst. A key social component is gathering with others at the table. But too often, dining out at casual or gourmet restaurants delivers various forms of misery.
When I broached the subject of pet peeves to a friend, she replied, “Are you looking for comments about the restaurant or the people you are dining with that give you agita while dining?” Diners may not display their best behavior when hungry, following specific diets, or holding strong expectations based on the restaurant’s social media reputation, price points, or past experiences.
In my quest for pet peeves about unnamed restaurants near and far, I interviewed several Tri-Valley residents. Most remained anonymous though a few bold folks added their personal reflections. I will also share my impressions of the dark side of dining out.
I turned the tables on Nancy Lewis who co-publishes the “Streetwise” column in the Pleasanton Weekly by asking her about pet peeves. She said they only dine at restaurants they love and aren’t foodies who always try novel places. But, she added, “My pet peeve is when a server says ‘No worries’ instead of ‘You’re welcome’ in response to me saying ‘Thank you’ to them for something. This has become the ‘new normal.’ It makes no sense, and I don’t like it.”
Complaints about service abound. Carrie Gilbert of Pleasanton opined her top pet peeve this way: “I get ants in my pants whenever I have to wait around for extended periods to order or for the food to come.”
Let’s start with first impressions. If the reception stand is empty, you wait. Servers whiz by, or they mutter, “He will be here is a second.” Translation: Just wait.
Or the receptionist ignores you, phone to their ear or head buried in a computer screen. You hope your server makes eye contact and shows a bit of courtesy. An annoying trend is the hunt for the reception desk discreetly hidden to avoid ruining the glamor of the interior design. When I dine alone, I have encountered cool welcomes as the receptionist ponders which server deserves losing a full table tip.
Meanwhile you have time to absorb the physical environment. The noise hits you first. If the decibels are excessive, my healthy husband wants to bolt even if the place serves his ideal meal of kale salad and salmon.
One commenter noted that restaurateurs should know that sound reverberates off bare walls and metal beams and should install better interiors with acoustic mediation. But owners and investors often seek the lively ambiance and avoid the costly solutions. Music creates ambiance for guests—but can they tone it down? The unwanted response is often, “Only the manager can adjust the sound, and they aren’t here.”
What about sitting by the door and then realizing it remains open to street noise and the weather? In winter, Gilbert keeps her coat handy. During an East Coast heat wave, our family sat with great discomfort directly under a high, wall-mounted air conditioning unit. Given the artic blast, I yearned for my puff jacket.
Seated next to a bussing station during an important work dinner, I never imagined how loudly bussers could dump dirty dishes into containers. The noise increased as the dishes stacked up. I asked our server if he could have a word with the busser, but old habits are hard to break.
Then there was the dinner at a three-story restaurant. Seated by a stairway, we encountered a constant flotilla of servers and guests speaking loudly after waiting at the bar to climb up to their table. How about seats next to the restrooms, especially in a bar as the line grows longer as the time gets later? As for wobbly tables, one interviewee asked, “Why can’t managers fix or replace them?”
The solution to bad seating is to ask for another table. Pet peeve responses when seats are available: “All open tables have reservations,” or “There are no servers in the other section.”
Restaurateurs view lighting as a critical way to set a specific, signature mood. “When the lights are turned down low,” said Gilbert, “I start singing to myself the lyric ‘Hello Darkness, My Old Friend’ from ‘The Sounds of Silence’” I want to see what is on my plate without turning on the flashlight.
Service is a huge bugbear for diners. Though servers may give their names, thankfully that practice was such an overdone pet peeve that most eschew it. Then the server may ask about water. After living in England where ice in drinks is less common, I ask for no ice. Half the time, ice appears anyway. Servers are often over-eager to take your beverage order which rings up profits to the owners and increases their tips or later, try to upsell fancy desserts after you’ve announced you’re full.
When servers eventually returns to the unfed table, they may rattle off specials at warp speed. If you ask to switch noodles for rice, they react as if you asked for the sun and stars and say, “No substitutions,” for a double peeve because they won’t ask the chef. When Mr. Healthy asks for double veggies instead of mashed spuds, the servers often look astonished or uncertain, then bring out three lonely broccoli stalks and a big mound of mash, which is the cheaper side to cook.
Pet peeves abound if you tell severs about allergens and other dietary requests such as gluten-free or vegan. Eagle-eyed patrons know they must stay vigilant for, say, nuts overlooked by the staff. A simple request such as eliminating an ingredient such as butter in a sauce becomes a pet peeve when the server says, it is “pre-mixed.”
A long-standing pet peeve about restaurants is lousy food. Dining on “Chef’s Night Out” is dangerous when the sous-chef is new or untrained, but a risk one takes. If you expect the shrimp in a pasta dish to arrive plump and juicy like last time, you may find them skinny and chewy. This outcome could be the cook’s problem or a supply chain issue.
The lack of problem solving at restaurants is top of mind for Andrea Campisi of Pleasanton. “My biggest pet peeve is when there is an issue with the food or service. Instead of apologizing or trying to make it better, they make excuses or ignore the issue. It is also annoying when the server doesn’t come back and check on table to see how everyone is doing.”
Did you ever ask for dressing or sauce on the side, and it arrives poured all over the dish? Gilbert frowns when she orders a “mixed greens salad” and sees only ordinary iceberg lettuce and a couple romaine leaves tossed in.
How about portion size? During my only meal at the French Laundry, I was amazed by the miniature, delicious portions. Yet after 18 mini-courses, I felt satisfied. As food costs rise due to the economy and tariffs, expect smaller portions, an industry effect occurring over recent years. Consider the “shareable” mezze platter with a tiny bowl of hummus that disappears in a flash. I applaud the concept of serving pre-Prohibition cocktails in an antique coupe glass, but a few ounces for $20 hurts.
There are more pet peeves regarding dining out that I will cover in future blogs. Think about menus that please and those that annoy. I could barely lift the book-sized menu in Italy that fortunately my friend could translate. How about the trials and tribulations of dining with kids?
Share your thoughts in the Comments section below.
