It has been an awful several days of contentious debate for the Pleasanton community. On one side has been the Authoritarians who can see no possible virtue emanating from an unruly teen's grotesque fake face painting and nose ring. This pot smoking teen, they argue, will never measure up to the standards of the private (corporate) sector which, they argue, having all of society's dough, has a right to define proper decorum in appearance any way it wants to. If one can't get a private sector job because of one's appearance, well then one is simply a miserable failure in life. Worse, unable to charm any corporate personnel director with one's fake facial tattoo, one is likely to end up sucking tax dollars from the decent, CEO-fearing among us, and therefore become a Democrat. Or a public school teacher.
On the other side are the fearless Libertarians who argue that it is the wayward teen's right to tattoo his face albeit it might have been better received had it been the curly red-white-and-blue R in the front of 'money' -- make that 'omney' -- that rallied so many true patriots during the final apocalyptic days of our most recent election. For this is an individualist community that has sanctified the right of all individuals, from Sam Walton and sibs possessing more wealth than 40% of the population; to their high-tech surveillance of minimum wage Walmart workers attempting to organize into cursed unions; to their God-given right to hire out subcontractors whose deplorable factory conditions lead to thousands of deaths annually by fire, by hunger, by suicide (for, after all, those dead workers weren't coerced into working there, right?).
But of what import colonization of the lifeworld where all appearance and consumer habits are forced into corporate-molded taste and 'self' expression? Of what import the annoying deaths of foreigners who really just don't appreciate liberty like we do? No, let us search every nook and cranny in our efforts to learn more of the class dolt's noxious behaviors. They say in 1st grade he once wore his pj's under his school clothes, in fifth grade he kissed a girl on the playground (investigation of the girl's intention still pending, though gossip queens throughout the community are leaving no possible interpretation unturned), and that he has two -- two I tell you -- fillings on the left side of his mouth.
Is it too late to call in the Nat'l Guard to quell this battle? Oh, you say a request has been put in already? Oh, so say the gossip queens? The war continues!