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Original post made
on Jul 14, 2007
Hmmm... "What can parents and neighbors do?"
A. Where were the parents of the girl throwing the teen party?
B. Underage drinking is illegal and alcohol is usually present at these types of parties. If you suspect your neighbors are having a party where underage teens are drinking or they are loud and out of control do not hesitate to call the police. It may make the difference between life or death for a teen.
What can parents do?
A. If your children like to party, or you suspect they do, don't leave home without a mature adult in charge, or take your children with you. Children , including teens and young adults, who spend quality time with their parents and feel loved and valued by them are less likely to engage in destructive behaviors such as drinking, drugs and sex which parties are conducive to. Make your family life fun and exciting for your children so that they would rather spend time with you doing healthy activities and include their peers perhaps.
What can teens do?
A. Don't advertise your party on the internet.
B. Have a party when your parents are home and awake. They care about your well-being and that of your friends as well as their property. (Or at least they should!)
C. Only invite people to your party whom you know and trust (and your parents approve of).
D. If you choose to ignore the above, hire armed security guards to be there from the start.
repost of my response to Harry G's comment:
Parents need to not go out of town and leave their teens alone to do whatever they please. What ever happened to having a family member or relative being in charge of checking up on the teens to make sure they aren't misbehaving or even notifying a trustworthy neighbor to keep an eye on things while they're away and to call the police if anything suspicious is going on.
Next thing is, the parents should be held accountable for whatever happens in their home even while they are away, loud parties, underage drinking, illegal drugs, assaults, damages, etc. Ultimately it is the parent's responsibility to make sure that this kind of thing doesn't happen in the first place.
Another thing is, make sure you know where your teen is at at all times and check in with them often to see what they're up to and who they're hanging around with. Don't allow them to be out after the 10 pm curfew and punish them accordingly if they do break the rules.
Teach your children and teens about the dangers of violence which is so pervasive in today's society and how to be safe in their own homes.
Calling 911 should be the first thing a person should do if they feel unsafe or that violence may occur.
I guess my response to the article about the young man who was severely beaten and the subject of teen parties ending up tragically was "inappropriate" since it was deleated.
Teens live in a very big world with "myspace" and instant messaging and other ways of communicating instantly. All note worthy teen news is instantly talked about and known in moments of when the first person discovers the news.
Teens live in a much different world that we did. Even though I have discoverd that my era was busily partaking of alcohol,drugs and free sex, it was not preplanned and announced for hundreds of our peers to know about as fast as the speed of instant message travels. Hundreds know what took a week or two to circulate, instantly. Alternate identities are easily aquired and lived up to at these parties. Whatever they can imagine themselves doing can be done at these parties. There are no limits on kids today, because we parents are still thinking it is like it used to be. It is not.
It is not like we think. I was the last person to find out my son was killed because we did not have him on line to inform us that he was killed. Because within minutes of the accident it was all over town and beyond. I know this because people started showing up on my lawn by noon the next day. They came in groups, hundreds of people came by. The first ones to arrive were the friends who had been on line talking all night.
Maybe one person will read this before it gets deleated and will take more interest in the struggles our kids are facing today this day of instant messaging living out where everyone can see and be a part of the wanted thrills and the unwanted thrills. Control is a myth, and you probably don't really know your own kid, let alone your neighbors kids.
My comments were also deleted. I can only assume it was because I was questioning parental responsibility and that was uncomfortable. In any event, I will restate that children and alcohol do not mix. Parental involvement and supervision is the ultimate antecdote to children (teens are still children) using alcohol and other illicit and illegal substances.
Take it from somone who knows, this so-called "house party" was not a planned event. Since when did watching movies become a house party. I am deeply disturbed how the papers have been able to twist the truth with second-hand information.i am disapointed in the 150 students who attened that so called party and have been able to ignore what happened or what they saw. No one will ever know the hurt and pain that i have been through. Nor do any of them care. To all you concerned parents: we called the police;they thanked us by putting us on hold for 10 minutes.In that 10 minuted he almost died. For all you parents "who know where their child is at all times",ask your teenager where they were that night i guarentee that they were there or on their way.
excuse me parents who think they know everything that went down that night. if you know every detail then why didnt you call the cops? the parents are not to blame. they did know the where abouts of their children. they were being responsible. where were all of your children that night? exactly. so instead of telling those parents to be better at their job, take your own advice and be a better parent and not make the "mistakes" you accuse these people of theirs.
While I agree that parents have certain obligations they need to be held accountable for, all blame cannot go to the parents. The teens have responsibilities too that they need to also be held accountable for. We can't say it was the parents who invited 150 people to an unplanned "movie night".
I am so disappointed in one fact, and that is the fact that most parents do not want to take responsibility for 'what is going on' by telling their kids that they will (and then actually do it) randomly read their myspace pages. I am one of those parents who do, and I have tried to talk to other parents to tell them that their kids are in serious need of more 'boundaries', and less privacy.These parents chose not to listen, and now these kids have criminal records. Guess what? It is all over myspace! Parents seem to think that it is cool to be able to 'allow' their kids to have myspace accounts, and not know what in the world they are doing on these accounts. Parents.... I challenge you to sit down with your teen TODAY, tell them that you would like to go through their myspace with them, because you love them and want to help them to become the person they should be. Guaranteed, you have NO idea what is going on in Pleasanton, and once you do, you will understand why we ALL need to monitor our kids MUCH better than we are. I thought I knew my kids...until myspace came along. Signed, A very concerned, yet aware parent.
people need to watch who comes in the front dorr. lock it. only let people in you know, and try to keep people from out of town out. what are they normally looking for? to get wild and crazy somewhere other than home. so avoid it. why weren't any of his friends helping? i'm not encouraging violence, but in the past when i'd see a friend in trouble I'd help him, even if it meant taking a beating myself. In this matter you definately need to look at the friends for 2 reason : 1: who's friends invited them in the first place, and 2: why wasn't there anyone there to help...............
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