Town Square

Post a New Topic

If ‘News’ Media were Animals

Original post made by Douglas Kendall, Downtown, on Oct 22, 2009

MATT DRUDGE -- Rabid Doberman Pincher, wearing a fedora, and often found playing poker in a smoky back room with Rush Limbaugh (large St. Bernard with small Swiss rescue barrel tied to his collar, full of emergency Viagrowl), with Sean Hannity (big, chocolate Labrador retriever with a dead duck dangling from his maw), with Bill O’Reilly (an Irish wolfhound flanked by several comely bitches), and Glenn Beck (vicious little Maltese -- in need of a trim) with Michael Savage (a miniature, beady-eyed dachshund) outside angrily scratching at the door trying to get in, but none of the others want him at the table (they claim that he cheats; but are in actual fact intimidated by his many pHd’s, his towering IQ -- all exacerbated by his being constantly high on ROCKSTAR -- a dachshund on energy drinks! Yikes!!).
FOX NEWS -- Composed completely of rare blued eyed, blond foxes, each claiming to have more college degrees than the next, each claiming to be a lawyer, each one an ex-girlfriend of Bill O’Reilly, and not a one a natural blond.
ABC/MSNBC/CBC/CNN -- Siamese cats, Siamese quadruplet cats fused together from birth at the head, actually sharing the same skull. But look! There is no brain in the skull. Unfortunately, this 20th century creature is slowing dying, though a feeding tube has been directly connect to the AP (Always Progressive) news service, which unfortunately lacks nutritional variety, requiring spoon feeding news stories from a jar of DRUDGE baby food.
REUTERS -- An international, metrosexual, big white news poodle from Europe obsessively chewing on a bone marked “U.S.A.” The bone cannot be chewed through.

by DoUgLaS kEnDaLl
Book burning news at-------------> Web Link
Email political opportunities to--->
:-) <-- Warning to the humor impailed.


There are no comments yet. Please share yours below.

Don't miss out on the discussion!
Sign up to be notified of new comments on this topic.


Post a comment

Posting an item on Town Square is simple and requires no registration. Just complete this form and hit "submit" and your topic will appear online. Please be respectful and truthful in your postings so Town Square will continue to be a thoughtful gathering place for sharing community information and opinion. All postings are subject to our TERMS OF USE, and may be deleted if deemed inappropriate by our staff.

We prefer that you use your real name, but you may use any "member" name you wish.

Name: *

Select your neighborhood or school community: *

Comment: *

Verification code: *
Enter the verification code exactly as shown, using capital and lowercase letters, in the multi-colored box.

*Required Fields

A different perspective on Spotorno Ranch development
By Tim Hunt | 1 comment | 296 views