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Steven Moscowritz (you can call him Steven the Great)

Original post made by Douglas Kendall, Downtown, on Oct 7, 2009

Hhhhi. I’m Steven Moscowritz, and I can help you.
What?! You don’t know???
Uh.. Hello??!! The IRS is going to KILL you!
But I can help. I’m Steve Moscowritz.

Yes, the IRS is going to KILL you. They are planning it right now.
Can’t you hear the ax grinding? They’ll cut off your head, if you’re lucky. No, you (depending on all those ways you cheated your taxes) are going to die a slow death by the IRS.
I can help. I’m Steve Moscowritz. You can call me Steven the Great because I’m a direct descendant of Tsar Peter the Great, who defeated the Russian IRS, ushered in communism, and opened the Moscow Ritz where Tsar Peter and Lenin were vodka drinking buddies. This was before Lenin met Paul, George, and Ringo and got into showbiz...

No, seriously, I am the Tsar of Tax Help.
The IRS is about to kill you! It will happen today, if you don’t pick up the phone and call me.
I can help. I’m Steve Moscowritz.

And I’ll keep bugging you until you call. I’m everywhere. Radio. TV. Yahoo Music today... in your dreams tonight.
I won’t let up! Guess who’s running for President in 2012? Guess who’s going to be your next Governor??
Me! ME! I’m Steve Moscowritz!

Call me. Hurry -- you won’t be able to call after the IRS kills you.
But, look, I can set up an annuity trust with me as the principle beneficiary, so if the IRS DOES kill you (which they will – it’s as inevitable as death and taxes -- actually, it’s death BY taxes!), I mean, WHEN the IRS kills you, I still get paid; I get everything you have. Your family’s inheritance? PPffftt! I can easily brush that aside -- I'm a lawyer. I’m Steve Moscowritz.
I’m going to help myself! Whether you like it or not!

And don’t forget, the IRS is still going to kill you.

by DoUgLaS kEnDaLl
Web Link <-- more fun stuff


Comments (1)

Like this comment
Posted by D.B.
a resident of Another Pleasanton neighborhood
on Oct 7, 2009 at 3:30 pm

Would someone please kill the IRS!!

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