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Yes, Pleasanton has a drug problem, according to police, parents, pupils and professionals, but those same people say there are solutions.
A forum for high school parents and community members on Oct. 26 drew about 60 people — with a significant contingent of district employees, including the principals from all three high schools.
Parents from the group Mothers With a Purpose spoke first, telling stories of their children.
Donna, who asked that her last name not be used, said her son’s behavior changed when he was in his senior year and she discovered he was using Oxycontin.
“The world just came to a complete stop when I found out about my son’s addiction,” she said. “The disease of addiction is powerful and takes over peoples’ lives.”
Co-founder of the group, Kelly, said her son started smoking marijuana as a high school freshman. He moved on to Oxycontin, which led to heroin, which offers a similar high but is less expensive.
Kelly asked her son to move out and said he ended up living under a bridge before asking for help. He’s been through several rehabs and recently told her family that he needed to move out of the area in an effort to stay clean.
“Just two days ago, I said goodbye to my son. I don’t know when I’ll see him again,” Kelly said. Her story drew some tears.
She also talked about Skittles parties, in which kids dump pills into a bowl and eat whatever they draw.
Kelly urged parents in the audience to pay attention to their children’s changes in mood, sleeping patterns, grades and associates.
“It’s in our back yards. It’s in our medicine cabinets — that’s where it starts,” she said. “Addiction is forever. It’s a family disease. It never goes away.”
Kevin Johnson, the school district’s senior director of pupil services, said even a single experiment can be life threatening.
He described a situation involving a girl who wound up with alcohol poisoning. She’d passed out and those with her simply propped her against a tree. Another student recognized the symptoms and called her parents.
“Good kid. One time. It could have been a fatal error,” Johnson said.
Marijuana is making its way into middle schools, according to Terese Ghilarducci, a counselor at Village High. She said some parents are lenient when it comes to drug and alcohol use at home, adding that some students have medical marijuana cards.
The forum, sponsored by the city, Pleasanton Unified School District and Axis Community Health, also featured teens from all three high schools.
Daniel, from Village, acknowledged that the alternative school has a bad reputation.
“It’s true for the most part, but it’s also a place of recovery,” he said. “It’s a place where they say, ‘You messed up, but we’re going to give you another chance.'”
Connor, also a Village student, said drugs aren’t confined to that school.
“If your kid wants drugs, he’s going to find drugs,” he said, adding that anger isn’t the solution when a parent finds out if his or her child is using.
“Just talk to them. Don’t get mad and start yelling,” Connor said, which was echoed by Daniel, who added, “Work with him. Don’t be the ‘grounding’ parent.”
Matt, from Foothill High, said part of the problem is the easy accessibility of alcohol in many homes.
“That was one of my biggest supplies — going into my parents’ bar,” he said.
Matt, Connor and Daniel are now all clean and sober.
But street drugs and alcohol aren’t the only substances being abused at schools. Matt pointed out that even athletes chew tobacco.
“Triple C, cough syrup, is another one,” he said. “People don’t understand that’s another drug that kids can get into.”
He added that “salvia,” a hallucinogen, is sold over the counter at a local cigarette store and that spice — synthetic marijuana — is readily available.
Johnson said he’d heard recently that a new drug has emerged, called bath salts, which people are smoking or inhaling. The substance got its name because it comes in crystal form that resembles traditional bath salts.
But, he added, a lot of kids’ behavior can be rationalized.
“What happens on Wednesday night on Main Street?” he asked, referring to the First Wednesday parties that go on in downtown Pleasanton during the summer. “What do kids see?”
Barbara Hourigan, a counselor at Amador Valley High, told of a 15-year-old alcoholic she’s been working with since the girl was 11. That student told her parents shouldn’t let their children have free rein.
While the other students who spoke all were in recovery, the only problem Amador Valley student Andrea has with drugs or alcohol is what to do when its obvious others around her are drunk or high, wondering whether she should tell a teacher or confront the student.
“It doesn’t seem like it would take much for some students to pull back,” she said, adding that many cleaned up their acts — and their cars — when it was rumored that police would be doing spot searches. She said that did make a difference at the school, for a while, at least.
The two Pleasanton police officers confirmed that drugs and alcohol are readily available for teens.
“It’s not just prescription drugs, it’s marijuana, it’s cocaine, it’s ecstasy,” said Officer Ryan Tujague of the special enforcement unit. “They’re doing it all. It’s mind boggling.”
Amy Sousa and Sue Feder, both from Axis Community Health, said there are solutions. Feder said parents shouldn’t be afraid to spot check their kids by getting them tested for drugs, even if there’s no evidence he or she is using.
“Don’t be afraid to talk to them,” Feder said. “Don’t be afraid of their anger.”
Sousa reminded the audience that drug and alcohol use is often more than a choice or something a child will outgrow.
“Alcohol is a disease,” she said. “Your child is not broken.”
The teens and counselors agreed that communication is one key to solving the problem, especially when a child is caught the first time she or he uses.
“The worst thing you can do is punish your child after the first time,” Matt said. “If you’re more casual about it, rather than an interrogation, you’ll get a better result.”
The police department also offers a program called the Parent Project, in conjunction with the school district. That course teaches parents how to address issues, including drugs, in a non-confrontational way.
Johnson is a recent grandfather and closed with the story of holding his granddaughter and hoping that when she enters school, drugs won’t be even be an issue.
A forum for middle school parents will be held from 7-8:30 p.m., Wednesday, Nov. 9, at the Firehouse Arts Center.
marijuana isnt a drug… its an herb and perfectly safe.
The first thing parents with a kid who has a drug problem need to do is to take a good look in the bathroom mirror and ask what they did to screw up their little baby.
Mike
The sessions on Tri-Valley TV a month or two ago were great and should be on a constant rerun program. I think they were all day
‘sharing’ sessions of Tri-valley family members and addicts. So interesting and valuable. Some in rehab several times. A Mother of a suicide victim. Good kids, Good grades. Valuable.
Addiction and alcoholism is a disease. It’s not caused by an upbringing. It runs in families genes. It never goes away, so the person with the addiction could seek help from the Axis Community Health Center. They need to learn how to live, without the drugs and alcohol.
There are a lot of people with many, many years of sobriety. It can be done.
Open your eyes and be a part of your child’s life… Dahhhhh It’s been in Pleasanton schools for a long while now.. You can’t be that clueless… If you have a child then be a part of your child’s life… I knew this before my kids even entered the schools here, the more affluent areas are riddled with drugs and far easier to get. Money, nannies as opposed to parents, careers over children, etc. etc. etc. Wake up….
crz,
You are so wrong in saying that marijuana is an herb and perfectly safe. Nothing could be further from the truth. How long have you been an addicted pothead? What will be next drug of choice?
Yes Pleasanton parents, just give your high school kid to drive BMW and Lexus and when they experience all in teenagers age what else is left, go for drugs and alcohol.
Are you all crazy? Drugs are nothing new. They have been in schools and neighborhoods for many years. I would bet dollars to dough nuts that most of the people reading this have tried one drug or another. Does that mean that you had bad parents? (Mike)? this will always go on. It comes down to how involved are you with your kids and how willing are they to talk to you about this?
Just because you try some pot does not mean that you will be smoking crack tomorrow.(Lon Johnson) Let’s be real, I went to school here over 20 years ago and drugs were everywhere. No city is above drugs and teenage drug use. Stop trying to place blame and judge people! roll up your sleeves and get involved! Name calling and finger pointing won’t help anything!
Most parents are clueless as to what their children are doing/who they are hanging out with. Just log in to facebook and see who your kids are hanging out with. It amazes me that parents don’t do this more. The kids are posting pictures of themselves drunk and talking about who/what they are doing.
Get your heads out of the sand.
I grew up in the 80’s with an older brother in the drug scene. I went to parties with him and constantly begged him to stop. Although constantly exposed to every type of drug, I have never used any drug except alcohol for recreation (when I was legal). I was constantly offered a “toke”, etc., but I saw how much destruction it caused in our family, and I didn’t want any part of it. Do not ever say that pot is not a drug. “crz” is a fool.
Both my Dad and now my brother have been alcoholics, and both of my Dad’s parents were heavy drinkers too, but I drink infrequently, and it’s usually a single glass of wine or beer with dinner. I can take it or leave it frankly. So I utterly dismiss the idea that addiction is a “disease” that you can catch or pass down in your DNA. Addiction is caused by external factors, that probably get passed down through a family as habits or “traditions”, like neglect and abuse.
I think my brother was trying to get back at my parents for years of physical abuse by my Dad. I didn’t get the same abuse that he did, so I can’t say what would have happened if I did. I have worked hard to provide a loving home for my kids and stay incredibly active in their lives, and I hope this will be the best prevention for addiction.
I see so many parents in Pleasanton quite willing to put their children in the care of others so they can amass more wealth. I may not have a lot of money, but I really know who my children are and they know that I care about them. If you don’t NEED to have both parents working, stop it until your kids are adults.
hahahahaha finally, Pleasanton has to acknowledge their rich brat kids drug issues!! Well, that is AFTER they get their Botox injections, silicon implants and facelifts!!!
I too was abused by “Dad” and never turned to drugs to “get back at him”.
The choice to use or not use drugs comes in the form of self confidence and will power.
You can’t blame your choices on others.
Every human being is born into this world in a fallen state of humanity and will naturally gravitate towards the wrong and immoral things in life. Until that condition is changed, there will always be drugs, crime, greed, etc. The only way that condition can change is through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, not Allah, not Buddha, nor anyone else.
Nice post Steve.
I agree, as do a lot of child psychologists, if a family can afford to, having one parent stay at home during the child’s informative years can provide a positive buffer from negative influences.
Hey Caltrader,
Nice to know that Jesus Christ surpasses every other faiths god!
Fact or FOLKLORE?
Steve –
We are a family with teenagers who are NOT using drugs, and ARE getting good grades, even though we both work (not so we can be superwealthy, but so we can send them to college). Our kids are always busy — homework, chores, music or sports. We don’t let them “do nothing”. We have someone drive them around after school every day, so they do homework and get to lessons/practice. When we let them go out on their own (teenagers all need a little bit of freedom – remember when you were 16?) they have to be in touch at all times, and they don’t have their own car.
But hey — our kids have friends (some of whom have – gasp! – stay at home moms!)who run around unsupervised and “hang out”. Kids who are too lazy to stay in sports or activities and end up at Las Positas trying to figure out what to do next.
Stay at home moms don’t all raise “good” kids and working parents are not all raising unsupervised druggies. There is a lot more going on.
If you suspect your child has a drug problem – take him to a doctor and have him tested.
What amazes me is that these rich Pleasanton brats are given everything from cell phones to designer clothes to BMWs. Their parents have plenty of time for the mani/pedi weekly, the sports club, the golf club, but never pay attention to what their kids are doing or who they are with.
Is your kid using a computer behind a locked door? Are you stupid? Does your kid go to parties where you don’t know the parents at the host house? Are there even parents there? Or maybe it’s the house in Ruby Hill where Mommy sat in the driveway and sold tickets to the party where booze and drugs were provided.
You people who breed them and then ignore them disgust me. Your kids are accountable to you and you need to make them understand that. Don’t expect the rest of us to bear the burden for your trash if you do not raise your kids to be responsible human beings.
What is with the name calling? All these “Adults” and I use that word only because of your age. How can you lump the kids together. Rich brats spoiled, trash, rich parents that don’t care.
Why does it matter how much or little they make. If your parents are rich you are a spoiled brat that uses drugs. You are all jealous of what they have and this is how you get back. Hide behind your computer and call names! Brilliant!
What is wrong with starting out at Las Positas? Now all the sudden if you do not go straight to a four year college you are worthless? You all make me sick and I am glad you hide behind your computer in your superb world and look down at everyone. I am so glad I don’t know you and my kids don’t either.
You are all very disappointing. Ridiculous! Sit around and call names to other people. Nice, how about this…… since you all know everything why don’t you get involved and try to help someone.
I know…. hard to do that and look down your pathetic nose at everyone!
Haters! not all of us teens are bad! what about when you were a kid. It is not our fault that your parents did not provide you with the things we have. Maybe they both should have worked! Must be nice to sit down there and try to throw rocks up here at us!
And just because my dad has a job where he can afford for my mom to get the weekly “ManiPedi” and for me to wear nice clothes does not make me a drug dealer nor does it mean he is not involved in my life!
You are CLUELESS!
Hey Jon, There’s a reason the kids call Las Positas “Lost Potential”
Mike-
Kids say lots of things that make no sense. I do not think we should use that as an excuse to say it is a bad thing. You as the adult should know that furthering your education in any form is a good thing.
How about your kid who may or may not go to a four year and spend all your money on an education just to graduate and do something that has nothing to do with the education they just got?
I work with recent college grads in a recruitment position and most of them wish they would have gone to community college and figured out what they really want to do. These kids are from Cal, Stanford, MIT and many other great Universities.
My teenage daughter’s friend just called someone a “biznatch” I think so will you be using that one tomorrow?
I know several young folks and they all make sense…are you referring to your own kids or what?
To: “Not A User”
Resentment is a by-product of addiction so maybe an inventory of your own faults might be enlightening.
Steve- you’re a lucky guy not to have the addiction illness that your brother and father have/had. Ask a family who has a child with diabetes, cancer, arthritis etc. if ALL of their kids have the same disease. Chances are the rest of their kids will be disease free. Addiction is a metabolic disease exhibited by a compulsion for a substance that their sibling could “take or leave”.
Wealth/poverty have nothing to do with addiction. We have both rich and poor in our family and it’s the genetic make-up that is the determining factor in addiction.
There but for the Grace of God go I…
But…watch your kids nevertheless…being addicted at a young age comes with consequences that make success in life a tougher to attain.
Always interesting that folks write all these great comments….but don’t have the confidence to include their full name! never understand that!
Our kids have so much going on…some of it is stuff that parents can see/control–some of it is not. We all need to slow down and start looking into the eyes of our kids. Raising a teen begins at about age 2–not age 12. Kids need their parents in elementary–into middle–and to the very end of high school and beyond.
Please do not diminish the effect we have, as parents, on our kids. Sometimes it is uncomfortable to ‘be in’ our kids’ lives. But it is always better to be there from the very beginning instead of jumping in after bad habits and ‘survival’ mode has taken root in our kids’ daily lives.
Love them. Lead them. Apologize when necessary. Hug them. Listen….listen more….Resist giving your advise–just really hear what they are saying….let them know you understand.
It is okay that you don’t always know how to fix their problems—they’ll figure that out–and sometimes life just doesn’t work out in neat little packages….they will survive if they know that the people who should love them the most are on their team–always there-and that doesn’t mean denying their bad decisions…it means loving them through them and guiding them…or finding other qualified people to do so. Go hug a kid today–your kid–their friends…Our kids are our future….and it really is a bright future!
This is news?!? The middle schools all had drugs and alcohol readily available for some Pleasanton students. A mom of a girl my son was interested in told me “[son] has friends using drugs, but I’m glad [son] doesn’t. It is okay for them to see each other.” I was the clueless mom – no, I didn’t know son had friends using drugs – though I suspected a few. He assured me one didn’t (I still don’t believe – kid had dilated pupils multiple times in a month, i.e. not just the eye doctor and behavior changes or may be it was “middle school”) There was much more in high school – both Amador and Foothill (kids went to one and I subbed at the other). My kids are in college.
As for addiction, some are predisposed and others are not – same family. Great grandfather was an alcoholic. Grandmother didn’t allow alcohol in the home. I had an alcoholic uncle, recovering alcoholic uncle, social drinker father. My brother is predisposed, but not. Once addicted to one substance, often a different one is substituted. So everything now needs to be examined.
Cholo-
I did not say they never make sense…. I said they say lots of things that don’t make sense. And surprise! Kids do.
Besides….. I thought you could not be around kids anymore?
Yes–drugs are a very serious issue in Pleasanton. Instead of pointing figures at one another, we should be working towards addressing the issue itself. Prescription drugs are HUGE in this town, I know many kids who use them recreationally, some become addicted, some turn out fine, some end up in rehab, while others have to deal with the issues for the rest of their lives.
Prescription drugs are killing our children and exposing them to absurdities at too young of an age. Every 15 Minutes has been huge in our schools for years because drunk driving was/is a huge scare among high schoolers. Please, people, let’s gather together and EDUCATE our children on the scary consequences of abusing drugs. And I’m not talking just a health class showing frightening pictures. Let’s start something real for these kids to relate to. Bring in speakers who can share the whole process: from recreation, to addiction, to withdrawals, to rehab. Show real numbers of how much money it costs to feed an addiction. Demonstrate that the majority of prescription drugs abused have only been around for one or two decades, no one really knows what the real consequences are.
We must instill morals in these kids lives so they have a reason to say no when presented with a choice, because they will be exposed to these atrocities. Pleasanton is a wonderful place to grow up in, let’s try and preserve that repuation for generations to come.
Marijuana isn’t just entering middle schools, it’s been there for years. I went to Harvest Park in the early 90’s and remember many times police coming and arresting students who were caught dealing pot from their locker. I think the mindset of “it’s entering our middle school” is one of the problems- drugs have been in Pleasanton for a long time. In high school it was all about the raves and students dealing E out at the baseball fields during lunch hour. This is not new news.
Kids who know, actually see and feel that their parents love, care about and are proud of them grow up as well-adjusted individuals.
Mike
Yes, my teen also encounters students high on drugs, talking about drug use, etc. at school. The good kids see these kids on a bad path and they don’t want to give names to the adults. Ask you kids if they know what Axis is. They counsel kids with drug problems and those seeking birth control. Ask your kids if they have been to Axis or received services from them. Also, when they tell you they are going to the football game, they might not be at the game. I’m seeing lots of kids loitering around campus in the corners of school and in the parks and greenbelts while the game is going on. If you don’t pay attention, you kids might be the ones discussed here. Also, if you go home and have a couple of drinks every night, you are likely sending the wrong message to your kids about alcohol use.
It’s time to quit bashing the parents. If your kid has a drug problem and it took awhile to really figure out what was going on, give yourself a break. I grew up in a pretty “normal” family. Myself and my 2 brothers all went to a junior college ( gasp!!) and went on to a 4 year college…graduated and we all have great jobs.
I was not exposed to drug or any kind of addiction growing up or into adulthood. Not until my own son became an addict. Had I noticed the signs earlier on, perhaps he would not be having the problems he is having now.
Parents do need to wake up and take notice of their kids and what they are doing. They may think they are doing normal teenage partying when in fact it is much serious and can lead to addiction. Once the line is crossed and addiction sets in, the entire family is a part of this awful disease.
I’m reading here all of the discussions regarding teens/students hooked on drugs, but I read something on the other Pleasanton news site days ago about a Foothill teacher arrested on drug charges. Nothing anywhere on the PW site that I could find, though. Does this mean it didn’t happen? Or ?