Mothers form group to deal with drug addicted children | January 7, 2011 | Pleasanton Weekly | |

Pleasanton Weekly

News - January 7, 2011

Mothers form group to deal with drug addicted children

Each member has young adult dealing with substance abuse

by Jeb Bing

Mothers with a Purpose, a newly formed support group, has been organized in Pleasanton to deal with deal with drug addicted children.

In a statement, the organization said: it believes that drug and alcohol abuse are an epidemic problem in Pleasanton and that, "as the mothers of drug addicted children, we are stepping up the fight against teen drug and alcohol abuse."

Each member in the group has a young adult child addicted to alcohol and/or drugs, some in recovery and some not. Its members feel that because most of the community's drug and alcohol programs are centered on prevention that there is significant lack of information and direction for families once they discover and admit that their child is using and abusing drugs and/or alcohol.

Mother's with a Purpose is striving to fill that void in two ways. Its mission is to raise the community's awareness of the severity and prevalence of drug and alcohol abuse among youths and it seeks to provide timely help, education and support to families of suspected and confirmed drug abusers.

"By making more people aware of this epidemic, we ultimately hope to see a decrease in use, abuse, and addiction to drugs and alcohol in our community," the organization stated.

Organization representatives said that just this year, several young adults raised in Pleasanton died of drug and/or alcohol related abuse. They said that thousands here are addicted to alcohol and/or life threatening drugs including prescription pain killers (oxycotin) methamphetamine, ecstasy, and heroin. Abuse of over-the-counter drugs is a growing and significant problem, as well.

"Sadly, abuse continues to grow unabated because, while our youth are under tremendous pressure to both take risks and achieve, many school personnel and parents have the tendency to 'look the other way," the representatives said. "Mothers with a Purpose feels that by asking the community to join together to keep an eye on our youth and to stay out of denial, our focused efforts can make a difference."

The organization said it is dedicating its effort to the memory of Kelin Jacobsen, whose mother is a member of the group.

"Education is essential in the battle against drug abuse and Mother's with a Purpose hopes to substantially increase the awareness of and education about drug abuse," the organization representatives said. "Clearly, the drug education program taught in our schools fails the majority of our youth, as it fails to educate both students and their families about addiction. The overly simplistic message of 'Just say no!' does not resonate with most young adults. Parents, teachers, administrators, coaches and health care professionals need to understand addiction and be adept at identifying the symptoms of drug and alcohol abuse. Most importantly, they must be willing to step up and speak out when they suspect abuse." 

For more information about the organization and its meeting schedule, email:


Posted by George, a resident of Ruby Hill
on Jan 8, 2011 at 7:57 pm

Two years ago, I would have read this article and said "Epidemic, you got to be kidding" or "we've got to get the low life out of our community". Today, I have a different view and it's a view shared by members of numerous middle class communities around the country. My personal experience has been financially and emotionally expensive. I've spend several thousands of dollars on attorneys and drug treatment. I've had several thousands of dollars stolen from me by my afflicted child. During the process I've lost weight, suffered from extreme stress, and came close my breaking point. Fortunately my child has chosen recovery over jail or the street. Others in the community have been less fortunate. Thankfully, I've found Nar Anon, which have help me focus on my health and recovery and have provided me a resource to find peace within myself as well as a better understanding of addiction and the addict. Thank you for publishing this article. We have to stop looking the other way and get our community and schools more involved. In general parents don't get it; I didn't get it. I'm only now beginning to understand how to act, respond, and behave appropriately. A lot of times we hurt our children, when we think we are helping. Think about it. Do you know what I mean?

Posted by Been there, a resident of another community
on Jan 9, 2011 at 10:39 am

Thank you for your honesty, George. Dealing with a drug-addicted child is a humbling experience. Those who haven't had to deal with the heartbreak and frustration are so ready to place blame, to consider the families "low lifes." My family is fortunate in that we have made it through and our son is now sober and doing well, but I will always remember feeling judged by certain people. I'd rather see the support group called "Parents with a Purpose"--Dads need to be involved too!
Al Anon has meetings everywhere--if this new group isn't for you, you can find support and understanding at Alanon. Google Al Anon and you can find local meetings.

Posted by Anne, a resident of Val Vista
on Jan 11, 2011 at 7:25 pm

I was so excited to read this article. Our family began this journey a couple of years ago and I personally felt as if I was the only one. After reading this article I found that there are others just like me. When our family first went through the long journey of addiction and then the beginning of recovery I never had anyone that I could really talk to. It was not that people did not care, it was that they could truly not understand. As a mother I will only say that I would go to the end of the earth to save my child. I am now proud to say that I will be attending my first meeting of Mothers with a Purpose and I hope I can make even a small dent in this demon of addiction.

Posted by another mom, a resident of Pleasanton Meadows
on Jan 12, 2011 at 9:06 am

so glad that local parents with this problem are finding each other! my child became addicted at age 14 and it has been a battle ever since. one thing that surfaces very quickly is that your so-called friends abandon you and you are alone to deal with this family & life threatening addiction - the few people who have been there for us have truly been a god send. am considering joining the group even though my "child" is now 20, out of the house but still addicted.

Posted by Patti, a resident of Castlewood
on Jan 13, 2011 at 1:16 pm

My family is dealing with this problem as well. It is devastating. I was one of those moms who always said "not my kid" but guess what? Addiction does not discriminate. Our beautiful, bright, athletic, never in trouble kid became addicted to oxy in college. This drug has taken his education, job, relationships, his money, our money, and would have taken his life eventually if he had not chosen recovery. We can only pray he continues his recovery this time. My heart goes out to all the families dealing with this problem in our community. It only takes one pill.

Posted by Another good family, a resident of Amador Valley High School
on Jan 15, 2011 at 3:33 pm

Good families with good caring parents have serious struggles also. Parenting is a humbling responsibility, think before judging and condemning others.

We are another good family..... with good kids....we have our serious challenges.

Posted by Dadstoo, a resident of Country Fair
on Jan 17, 2011 at 1:58 pm

Too bad this organization seems to be focusing on "specific" candidates. I understand that they are only taking mothers into this group, and only after they are interviewed and "accepted" into the group. Not what I would have like to have seen. There are hundreds of parents in the Liv/Dub/Pleas areas that could use a group like this to educate, discuss, and be the "power in numbers" to schools, law enforcement, city officials to help make a change.

Alanon is the other option. It's not for everyone and while it is well attended in the local area, it's focus isn't on making a change in our local areas.

Sounds like we need another group formed that allows any parent into the group anonymously without judgement.

Posted by HOPE, a resident of Foxborough Estates
on Jan 30, 2011 at 7:45 am

My Son is 24 and has an addction first it was opiates, now herion. He has been to treatment. Everyday I wake thinking maybe this will be the day he will decide to STOP. It is a horrible thing for parents to go through so see your child hurting so bad, his or her heart is saying one thing while the brain is saying another. My Son is staying with his Grandmother since I have small children at home and my Husband and I don't see eye to eye when dealing with my Son. I just recently moved my Mom out she is now staying with me. My Son is in her home trying to get clean. I give him different things he has to do weekly and if he doesn't do them then I have to kick him out and this is so hard. I'm posting this so I could get some feedback from others. I know what the right thing to do but is it the best for him??? I'm raising his Son my Grandson of 9 months old. I have never done drugs but i see my Sons pain.

Posted by Another good family, a resident of Another Pleasanton neighborhood
on Jan 30, 2011 at 4:18 pm

I am so sorry for your pain but have no advice other than what has already been said, talk to experts.
Al anon

Posted by B........, a resident of Mission Park
on Jan 31, 2011 at 10:50 am

Hi George I hope you are still reading this post. I would like to ask you if the Nar Anon meetings you attend are in this area. I have only seen them for Concord. We are dealing with all of this now with our daughter. She was in Rehab when she heard the news about Kelin and I'm glad she was there to deal with his death. Thank you for your time. B.....

Posted by Me Too, a resident of Another Pleasanton neighborhood
on Jan 31, 2011 at 1:48 pm

Hope -
I know there is a really good al-anon group in San Ramon specifically for parents od young adults. Its on Sunday evenings at 6:30. Give it a try. Atleast you are with others going through the same thing. Hang in there!

Posted by Glenn, a resident of Danville
on Apr 13, 2011 at 9:49 pm

Visit the National Coalition Against Prescription Drug Abuse on Facebook and at (NCAPDA) is based in San Ramon, California and very active about prescription drug abuse awareness, prevention, and education.

Posted by Susan, a resident of Del Prado
on Jun 3, 2011 at 6:22 pm

I too have a child struggling with addiction. First oxycontin and now heroin. He is in rehab now. Went for the first time one year ago. Two years out of high school and has accomplished nothing. It is heartbreaking. I plan to try the Sunday al anon mtgs in San Ramon. Just reading these posts makes me feel I am not alone.

Posted by Mother of Adult Child, a resident of San Ramon
on Jul 17, 2011 at 11:23 pm

I am a mother of an adult son who became addicted to prescription drugs by way of depression. He was going to a doctor for depression and was given a prescription but the depression was never addressed. He had everything going for him. A wife, a beautiful home, two children what more could a mother wish for a son to have. For some reason he became very depressed and because of the treatment prescribed he became addicted to prescription drugs. His marriage fell apart, he lost his job and he became more depressed. At which time he ended up going from doctor to doctor to feed his addiction. He did go to rehab and has had up's and down's but is trying very hard. He has found a doctor that seems to be helping him and he is not doctor shopping. It is so scary that one slip and he could be back into the addiction. Not only is this prescription drug a problem with teenages and college students this can become a problem with adults also. Especially in the economy we are in today and depression being more widespread due to job loss. I did not realize there was an organization NCAPDA that addresses this issue. I will check into this and want to thank Glen of Danvile for his post

Posted by registered user, Glenn Wohltmann, a resident of Pleasanton Weekly staff reporter
on Jul 18, 2011 at 11:46 am

Mother of Adult Child:

Here's a link to a story I did featuring the group:

Web Link