Staying independent Staying independent (December 17, 2004)

Senior Support Program of the Tri-Valley fills a need
by Dolores Fox Ciardelli

Elaine and Brian Clay spend a lot of their time at doctors' offices. Brian, 81, has 12 different doctors, 11 of them specialists he sees under the direction of his primary care physician.

They both use walkers but luckily Elaine, 77, still drives.

"It's quite a parade, two patients with walkers," she said with a laugh. "It's exhausting getting off to the doctors. I start two hours before the appointment." Brian sets the tone at every appointment with a joke, she noted, expressing astonishment as he steps on the scale.

They also attend church every Sunday, and Elaine does all the grocery shopping. Brian's health problems began about 20 years ago with diabetes, said Elaine, and he has been insulin-dependent for 15. Gradually Elaine took over more and more care as his ailments increased, plus she took over his responsibilities, such as the finances.

Until she discovered the Senior Support Program of the Tri-Valley, after her daughter in Florida found it online, she didn't realize that she wasn't taking any time for herself.

Carol Bush, a case manager at Senior Support, works with about 50 people or couples, including the Clays. She arranged for respite care to come into their home for four hours each week for five weeks.

"She heard I hadn't been out on my own for five years," recalled Elaine. "I discovered movies again. I went to three movies, had lunch with a friend, had dinner with another friend. I learned it's OK to think of myself once in awhile."

Bush said that in many of her cases, such intense caregiving leads to anxiety as well as depression.

"I generally find a couple in a home, one ill and one healthy, and one has fallen into the caregiver role," said Bush. "The caregiver has to assume responsibilities sometimes they've never done, sometimes cooking, cleaning, yard work, bill paying, shopping. It becomes an overwhelming task.

"About the time they are ready to pull out, someone tells them about us," she continued. "I go out and do a case assessment and give them resources."

"It can be a mother and daughter, or people who take care of their parents. There is one adorable 34-year-old girl caring for her grandparents, 90 and 92," she said.

"I have an 88-year-old woman who has been caring for her sister, who is 97. The 88-year-old has been having stress-related problems and had to be hospitalized. The 97-year-old has dementia and they have a dog so we tried to bring in caregivers but she didn't adapt too well to that." Bush arranged for other relatives to bring her meals and between them they keep an eye on her.

"I took care of my parents in their last four or five years," said Bush, adding that someone at her place of employment referred her to Senior Support. "I got paid caregivers through the registry there."

She saw her father try to cope with her mother, who had Alzheimer's. "It's so difficult for a man to accept someone else coming in when they think they should be doing it all," she said. "My dad was a macho man who cared for her the best he could. When he fell and broke his hip soon after his 90th birthday, we went through the registry again and brought in people."

When Bush retired in 2002 she went to the Senior Center to sign up for a trip, wandered over to Senior Support and mentioned to a friend there that she was becoming bored. It turned out there were several openings.

"I don't think I've ever done anything I've enjoyed more," said Bush, who has had a varied career, including sales. "For the first time, I'm providing a service without obligation."

Marlene Peterson, director of Senior Support, said case management is in jeopardy because it is not covered by a grant. Despite her workload, Bush's position is part-time.

Other programs include Friendly Visitors, which provides more than 3,000 visits a year in Pleasanton alone; Partners in Safety; a registry for finding caregivers; health screening, counseling and referrals. "They all fit together," said Peterson. "The case worker gets things sorted out."

Senior Support also has a monthly Caregivers Support Group, which Elaine Clay attends. She recently bought a cell phone so she feels easier leaving Brian for short periods of time because he can reach her. She has help with the yard work and the heavy housework in their spacious home, which they bought new in 1971 when they moved to Pleasanton. Brian, a pharmacist, was transferred to the Bay Area from Southern California to oversee 70 Thrifty stores.

Elaine held up a list of his medications and marveled that he can take 14 pills at a time, including pain relievers for his back.

Carol Bush noted the irony of his being a retired pharmacist. "Now they're pushing the pills back at you," she said. Both of the Clays laughed good-naturedly.

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