Patches mean memories Patches mean memories (October 22, 2004)

Dads bond with kids through Y-Guides, Y-Princesses
by Cathy Jetter

The back of 8-year old Diane Hadley's denim jacket tells a tale. Patches sewn to the fabric illustrate stories of adventure and love.

Each month, girls and boys across the nation pull on vests and coats similar to Diane's, decorated with colorful badges representing special moments and important occasions they will always remember. While each child's memories are different, they all share one common element: Dad.

The Y-Guides and Y-Princesses are national father-child programs offered through the YMCA. In 1926, St. Louis YMCA director Harold Ketner founded Y-Guides to close what he saw as a widening gap between American fathers and their sons.

"In Native American culture, the father plays an integral role in preparing a child for the rigors of the adult world," said Bing Hadley, Nation Chief for the Pleasanton Y-Guides and father of program members Diane and Greg. "Ketner used the qualities of American Indian culture and life to help foster that father-child relationship in American families."

The YMCA adopted the Y-Guides as a national program in 1935. The importance of the father-daughter relationship was recognized in 1954 with the development of Y-Princesses.

For some families these are not just programs, they are traditions. This is evident in the patches sewn across the vest of Livermore father Corey Thompson, whose own father was a Y-Guide Nation Chief in Southern California. Many of his emblems are a little different than those found on the backs of other dads.

"I got these in 1967, '68 and '69," Thompson said with a grin at a recent "welcome day" activity where Guides and Princesses gathered to share their experiences with potential tribe members. "Some of my best memories are of days I spent with my dad at Y-Guide events. I couldn't pass up the opportunity to share that with my son." His 6-year-old son, Brandon, agreed. "I love spending time with my dad. I think it's great."

"One of the biggest advantages of these programs is that they are not drop-off," said Hadley. "The dads are a part of every activity that takes place, whether it is camping, crafting, hiking or marching in the annual parade."

Hadley also stressed the informal nature of the programs; the emphasis is on participation, not achievement.

"We don't worry a lot about 'earning' badges," he said. "Our patches represent times we spent together making memories."

Tim Buteau, Nation Chief for the Pleasanton Y-Princesses, explained the structure of the organization.

"Several father-child pairs are placed together in a tribe. Tribes in the same area are joined in a Nation, and each Nation has leadership to organize activities," he said, adding that in the Tri-Valley area there are more than 300 participating father-child units forming nearly 40 Guide and Princess tribes.

"Each month the tribes have individual events, planned by the members," he said. "We also meet once a month as a Nation for bigger events like camp-outs or community service projects." Buteau added that no matter what the activity is, everyone looks forward to it.

Tribe members galore echo this sentiment.

"My dad spends a lot of time at work," said Y-Princess Angela Arkin. "My favorite event is the Father/Daughter dance. I get to dress up, and we stay out late. I love being there with my dad."

Angela's mother, Valerie, who serves as the Program Coordinator, said, "So many programs for children involve the mom, but the Guides and Princesses are all about the dads, every time. It is a completely invaluable experience."

Of course there is more to be gained from the program than just time with Dad. Community service projects and exposure to new learning experiences build a child's pride and self-esteem in a safe and supportive environment. Many dads are also quick to point out that the monthly Tribal and Nation events are a great opportunity to meet other men with shared interests.

"Some of our best friendships have been made and strengthened through the Y-programs," said Hadley.

The only downside, it seems, is that the program has to end.

"There are no formal rules," explained Buteau, "but the Tri-Valley association is set up for children ages 5 to 10. The end of elementary school is a natural time for the kids to 'graduate' from the program."

Buteau's daughter, Haley, will be graduating this year. Having started at age 5, she is not ready to give up her partnership with her father just yet. With three younger sisters, she is a perfect candidate for assisting at her siblings' activities.

"We offer older kids who have been through the program the opportunity to 'mentor,'" explained Buteau. "That keeps the family together and involved."

Diane Hadley is glad she has a few years to go before her time as a Princess is over.

"There is so much fun stuff to do," she exclaimed as she warmed up for a water balloon fight. "I will be sad when it is over."

Over? With the bonds these children and their fathers are building, the fun has just begun.
Six aims of Y-Programs

To be clean in body, pure in heart To be friends, always To love the sacred circle of my family To listen while others speak To love my neighbor as myself To seek and preserve the beauty of the Great Spirit's work in the forest, field and stream

Want to join?

For membership information, contact Valerie Arkin, Program Coordinator, at valeriearkin@comcast.net. Program registration is $96 for the first child, $60 for the second.

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