?Twas the Night: once again, the year in review | Raucous Caucus | Tom Cushing | PleasantonWeekly.com |


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By Tom Cushing

?Twas the Night: once again, the year in review

Uploaded: Dec 27, 2014

'Tis two days after Christmas, I've waited this year,
To bring you these tidings of news in arrears.
For 'twasn't quite clear that the Day would survive,
With the 'War on It' that the Fox Newsers contrived.
But we made it! -- despite the threat posed by the saying,
Of not 'Merry Christmas,' but 'Hap-Holiday-ing.'
Is it really not clear, to all, that a true greeting,
Depends on the faith of the person you're meeting?

The year, as they do, started out with great hope,
Of at least being mellow ? more states allowed dope.
And tho' there are those who may still think it rude,
We've all been Lebowski'd ? we all are now "Dude?"

In U-S pol-i-tics negativity reigned,
Bi-partisan enmity barely restrained.
The GOP took both the House and the Senate,
Their tactics must now be more than "we're ag'in it."
McConnell and Boehner have their work to do,
To unite all their factions may take Superglue.

As the Dems lick their wounds, they will have to decide,
Just what do they stand-for ? which horse will they ride?
Frontrunner Hil rolls a comfortable tide,
But Warren now gains on her left, and outside.
The GOP too must decide whom to push:
Is casting a Paul better than a third, in a Bush?
The Prez, who was spurned by his Party's campaign,
Seems to like flying solo, a lame duck in the reign.

The e-cono-my had its best time in years;
It adds lots of jobs, but far fewer careers.
The Dow jumped 18, its advance just won't stop,
But its benefits flow to the few, at the top.
The Middle Class languishes ? can't catch a break,
As their row boats are swamped by the yachts and their wake.
Big changes are needed, but will not be nigh,
From this Congress: the best one that money can buy.

In sports, the A's teased us, East Bay fans would dream,
Of a Billy Ball championship for their team.
But again in the end, those damned Giants broke through,
As MadBum and Panda both did what they do.
So, sabremetricians must toil to see,
Just how DO you numerisize "chemistry?"

The Pope showed a fist in that soft velvet glove,
The prophet deShannon was right ? world needs love.
But cardinals who thought he was weak 'cuz he's humble,
Are learning this Pontiff is ready to rumble.
Some lapsers are back and his Masses are brimmin'--
Now, if only he'll see to child victims and women.

The CIA spooks took a licking this year,
As they tried to es-spy on their own overseers.
Then the Senate Report revealed bad shameful tactics,
That the Agency hid in semantic gymnastics.
Will we learn things to guide us ? we should, but 'we'll see' ?
After all, that torture stuff works ? on TV.

The world was awash, in conflicts galore:
Gaza, Ukraine, and Sudan, ISIS gore.
The lives lost and ruined are what we deplore;
There simply are not any winners in war.
In America, too, there was much to regret;
for we have not achieved racial harmony yet.
Despite many efforts, there's justice we lack,
For those who are guilty of breathing, while black.

Infections were rampant, Ebolar and 'net,
As west Africa suffered the worst outbreak yet.
The US Press typically lost all proportion,
With wall-to-wall coverage replete with distortion.
They might better have asked, and with much less contortion:
How much sugar did Big Food Co. add to that portion?

Some hackers laid bare Sony's emails to see,
In an effort to close down a dumb comedy.
But they mostly provided free publicity ?
The movie has quickly become a must-see.
Imagine: The Interview, patriot's fare ?
The flag firmly implanted in Seth's derriere.
We may never know how firewalls got so broken ?
Korean spies ? or some kid in Hoboken?

So, that's my review, though nuance it may lack.
And no, you cannot have your five minutes back.
Now that it's done, I'll jut MY chin and say:
Merry Christmas to all ? and have a Hap Holiday!