“ . . . We have no way of knowing when our time is up . . .” | Couple's Net | Chandrama Anderson | PleasantonWeekly.com |

Local Blogs

Couple's Net

By Chandrama Anderson

E-mail Chandrama Anderson

About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in ...  (More)

View all posts from Chandrama Anderson

“ . . . We have no way of knowing when our time is up . . .”

Uploaded: Jan 28, 2023
“It is only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth -- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up -- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had.”
- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

We’ve all been reminded of this in the aftermath of the shootings and deaths in Half Moon Bay. We grieve for our community, and the families and friends of those who died. Consider getting involved with gun control efforts. No one needs automatic weapons in daily life.

Hug each other close, make eye contact and say, “I love you.” Do it every day. Don’t wait to have conversations with people who matter to you. Call now. Say what you want and need to say. Listen. Love.

We are a death-averse and grief-averse culture. This actually hurts us. When we don’t talk about the people who have died, we are erasing them. That’s painful for those left behind. Ask a grieving friend or family member to tell you a story about the loved one who has died. It’s a relief to be able to talk about him/her.

So what if you cry and grieve? Or don’t cry, and grieve in your own way. These are normal human emotions. People are often afraid to cry because they worry they won’t be able to stop crying. You will stop eventually. It’s okay to express your grief. In fact it’s healthy.

Living to the fullest doesn’t mean “Screw it” to all your responsibilities (if it’s your preference to say screw it to everything, take a long, hard look at your life and decide what you need to change). It means being present: as Ram Dass said, “Be here now.” The people in your life will not always be here. Focus on where you are, who you are with, what you’re doing in this moment, and be all in. This is a lifelong practice. You won’t be good at it right away. I ask myself: “Where am I in this moment?” as a way of being here now.

Balance your dreams, hopes and desires with your responsibilities.
Community.
What is it worth to you?

Comments

Posted by Harrison Tamaki, a resident of Danville,
on Feb 1, 2023 at 7:42 am

Harrison Tamaki is a registered user.

We are all on borrowed time.

Animals do not have a concept of a later death and this is to their benefit.

Too much over-thinking about dying can spoil one's sense of life...just ask any philosopher. The majority of them were always depressed about something.


Posted by Jerome Jackson, a resident of another community,
on Feb 2, 2023 at 10:36 am

Jerome Jackson is a registered user.

"...We have no way of knowing when our time is up . . ."

Which is why I do not wear a wristwatch.


Posted by Kilback, a resident of Community Center,
on Feb 2, 2023 at 9:46 pm

Kilback is a registered user.

That's correct. While it is true that none of us knows exactly when our time will be up, it is a common human experience to be uncertain about the future. This uncertainty can sometimes lead to feelings of anxiety or fear, but it can also motivate us to live life to the fullest and make the most of the time we have.

It is important to remember that our time on this earth is limited, but we can still make the most of it by focusing on the things that matter most to us, such as our relationships, our passions, and our goals. We can also strive to make a positive impact in the world and leave a lasting legacy, even if we don't know exactly when our time will be up.

In the end, it is important to appreciate each moment, live life to the fullest, and make the most of the time we have.


Posted by Kilback, a resident of Community Center,
on Feb 5, 2023 at 7:58 pm

Kilback is a registered user.

It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on Earth - and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up - that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had.


Follow this blogger.
Sign up to be notified of new posts by this blogger.

Email:

SUBMIT

Post a comment

In order to encourage respectful and thoughtful discussion, commenting on stories is available to those who are registered users. If you are already a registered user and the commenting form is not below, you need to log in. If you are not registered, you can do so here.

Please make sure your comments are truthful, on-topic and do not disrespect another poster. Don't be snarky or belittling. All postings are subject to our TERMS OF USE, and may be deleted if deemed inappropriate by our staff.

See our announcement about requiring registration for commenting.

Stay informed.

Get the day's top headlines from PleasantonWeekly.com sent to your inbox in the Express newsletter.

(Updated 3:00 pm) The Bay Area votes to phase out sales of gas heaters
By Sherry Listgarten | 23 comments | 4,936 views

Home Again: Couples and Caregiving
By Chandrama Anderson | 0 comments | 1,745 views

The pile of bad City Council decisions keeps growing
By Tim Hunt | 1 comment | 960 views

Tell Me More About University of California-San Diego (UCSD)
By Elizabeth LaScala | 0 comments | 944 views

A brief history of trains and their connection to the Tri-Valley
By Monith Ilavarasan | 2 comments | 813 views

 

2023 guide to summer camps

Looking for something for the kids to do this summer, learn something new and have fun? The Summer Camp Guide features local camps for all ages and interests.

Find Camps Here