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I was recently told that my tag line, Helping Partners Become Couples, is backwards and should be Helping Couples Become Partners.

In my experience with many, many couples, they are generally good partners already. They are "good enough" co-parents, manage their careers, household, social life, finances, vacations, and other responsibilities together pretty well.

Yet they are not a couple, at ease as lovers, and emotionally connected. Their lives are often run in parallel, and they look good to the outside observer.

Happy couples are inter-dependent (as opposed to being dependent or independent), with four legs in the relationship (meaning two whole people).

If you want a secure connection with your partner, defined as: being emotionally attuned to one another, knowing s/he has your back, seeking comfort and sex from one another, and creating home as a haven from which to venture out into the rest of your life — in short, if you want to become a couple, I can likely help you get there. It would be my pleasure.

About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple,...