By Chandrama Anderson
E-mail Chandrama Anderson
About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in ... (More)
About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in Silicon Valley for 15 years before becoming a therapist. My background in high-tech is helpful in understanding local couples' dynamics and the pressures of living here. I am a wife, mom, sister, friend, author, and lifelong advocate for causes I believe in (such as marriage equality). My parents are both deceased. My son graduated culinary school and is heading toward a degree in Sociology. I enjoy reading, hiking, water fitness, movies, 49ers and Stanford football, Giants baseball, and riding a tandem bike with my husband. I love the beach and mountains; nature is my place of restoration. In my work with couples, and in this blog, I combine knowledge from many fields to bring you my best ideas, tips, tools and skills, plus book and movie reviews, and musings to help you be your genuine self, find your own voice, and have a happy and healthy relationship. Don't be surprised to hear about brain research and business skills, self-soothing techniques from all walks of life, suggestions and experiments, and anything that lights my passion for couples. (Author and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Calif. Lic # MFC 45204.) (Hide)
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In a story revealed by Wired, hackers accessed the files of about 32 million users of the site AshleyMadison.com. According to Ashley Madison, their website "is the most famous name in infidelity and married dating, with the tagline "Life is short, have an affair."
Wired reports that, "The files appear to include account details and log-ins for some 32 million users of the social networking site . . . including names, street address, email address and amount paid, but not credit card numbers."
As the hackers promised they would, they released about 10 gigabytes of data on Tuesday. Wired reported that another 20 gigabytes of compressed files has been released today.
"Revealing the Secret: Truth and Consequences" is the epilogue of "After the Affair" by Janis Abrahams Spring, Ph.D. This brief section is written for the unfaithful partner to decide whether or not to reveal the secret of the affair. It can also be a good idea to see an individual therapist to talk things through with and get clear about what you choose to do.
Affairs are often the impetus for couples to seek counseling. Many couples recover from an affair, especially when handled well. Other couples do not survive the aftermath.
Whether or not you were hacked this week, an affair is probably best dealt with sooner than later.