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“Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realize it, then to accept life unquestioningly. Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate or despise, serves to defeat us in the end. What seems nasty, painful, evil, can become a source of beauty, joy and strength, faced with an open mind. Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such.” — Henry Milller
When I read this quote, it struck a chord for me about couples and the desire to just keep going without acknowledging or working on issues when things aren’t going well in your relationship.
That somehow you can just ignore or outrun or out-work or out-device the communication issues or lack of intimacy. That somehow you can shut your eyes, run away, deny, denigrate or despise, sweep under the rug. And yet as Henry Miller says, it defeats you in the end. Individually and as a couple.
While working on your marriage may be a lot of effort and it actually is a type of work, it is also a path of greater self-knowledge and growth for each of you and your relationship; leading to a source of beauty, joy and strength ? a stronger marriage than you had before.
Accepting life unquestioningly doesn’t necessarily mean letting it go on as is: it means facing what is, understanding what we can and can not do about it, and taking action toward beauty, joy, and strength.