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By Roz Rogoff

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About this blog: In January 2002 I started writing my own online "newspaper" titled "The San Ramon Observer." I reported on City Council meetings and other happenings in San Ramon. I tried to be objective in my coverage of meetings and events, and...  (More)

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Watches and silly, old jokes

Uploaded: Mar 15, 2015

I have a small collection of wrist watches, about 7 or 8, that all needed batteries. I used to have windup watches but I don't anymore. I took all of my watches to Heller Jewelers on Thursday to have the batteries replaced. I picked them up yesterday.

I have two Coach Watches that needed batteries, and two more Coach Watches that don't need batteries yet. I love Coach ? shoes, bags, and watches. That's my one designer indulgence. Coach is one of the cheapest designer brands, with most of their watches selling for a little over $100 on their outlet website.

Heller sells Rolexes and Tag Heuer watches, which are a lot pricier than Coach. I have no interest in spending thousands of dollars on a watch to impress other people. My most expensive watch is a Heuer, not Tag Heuer, but a plain Heuer before they married Tag. I bought it at Feldmar Jewelers in Los Angeles when I was living in Culver City.

I checked online and Feldmar is still in business selling Tag Heuer watches. My original Heuer watch cost about $300. Feldmar gave me a substantial discount, so it probably had a higher list price. List prices on jewelry and watches are highly inflated and almost always discounted. Never pay list prices on these things.

My original Heuer watch was stolen from my house along with my guns and a handful of Swatch watches. That's when Swatch was very big. I don't see them around much anymore.

I didn't replace the Swatch watches, but I did go back to Feldmar and buy another Heuer exactly like the one that was stolen and for the exact same price. I don't remember if I got reimbursed by my insurance company, but that may have been within the deductible.

I bought a Heuer Chronograph from Fedlmar for my oldest nephew's Bar Mitzvah. It cost $165. That was in 1984, the year before Tag bought Heuer. It had all kinds of buttons and dials and took my nephew awhile to figure out how it worked. He's 43 and married with three children now. Wow time flies.

That reminds me of an old joke we used to tell as kids. "Why did the moron throw the clock out the window?" Answer "He wanted to see time fly."

"Moron" jokes were very popular when I was a child 64 years ago. They were not intended to denigrate anyone with learning disabilities. A "Moron" was an imaginary character dumber than the 8 year old kid telling the jokes.

"Why did the Moron put the TV on the stove?" "He wanted to see Arthur God-fry." Fortunately I can't remember any more of these, so I'll leave it up to my readers to add more "moron" jokes, but no Polish jokes.

Back then "Polish" was often used instead of "Moron." I never understood why Polish people were supposed to be stupid. According to Wikipedia Polish jokes were started by the Nazi's after invading Poland. No wonder I don't like Polish jokes.
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Comments

 +   1 person likes this
Posted by Cholo, a resident of Livermore,
on Mar 16, 2015 at 7:24 pm

This is NO SILLY JOKE!!!

Web Link


 +  Like this comment
Posted by San Ramon Observer, a resident of San Ramon,
on Mar 16, 2015 at 9:52 pm

San Ramon Observer is a registered user.

Exceptional link, Cholo. Thanks. Chimps paint artworks too. Some of it is outstanding. Mine is not so good. But I've not yet seen elephants who write blogs. When they do, I shall retire.

Roz


 +  Like this comment
Posted by Ed, a resident of Pleasanton Meadows,
on Mar 19, 2015 at 2:27 pm

Ok Roz, you asked for it...

3 morons in an asylum go to the doctor and ask for a weekend pass to the city.
The doctor says "no, you'll get lost and won't come back".
The morons keeping pestering the doctor until he says "alright, I'll give each of you a test and if any of you get the right answer you'll get the weekend pass".
He asks the first moron "what's 3 times 3?"
The moron thinks and says "128"

He asks the second moron "what's 3 times 3?"
The moron thinks it over and says "Wednesday".

The doctor asks the last moron the same question - "what's 3 times 3?"
The 3rd moron asks for a pencil and paper, does some figuring and says "9".

Amazed, the doctor gives him the pass and says "tell me, how did you get the answer?"
As the moron is walking out he says "I divided 128 by Wednesday!"


 +  Like this comment
Posted by Ed, a resident of Pleasanton Meadows,
on Mar 19, 2015 at 2:30 pm

Alright, one more but this isn't a moron joke...

Why can't you trust an atom?



Because they make up everything.


 +  Like this comment
Posted by Robert Weisenheimer, a resident of another community,
on Mar 19, 2015 at 2:39 pm

Here I thought they were likely to just split and go fission.


 +  Like this comment
Posted by San Ramon Observer, a resident of San Ramon,
on Mar 19, 2015 at 5:05 pm

San Ramon Observer is a registered user.

Thank you Ed. I really laughed at the moron joke. It is a nice break from answering students' questions in my online workshops for University of Phoenix.

Roz


 +  Like this comment
Posted by denis, a resident of Apperson Ridge,
on Oct 7, 2017 at 2:37 am

Numerous applications are made however Web Link You download the application.


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