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Stronger now
Gymnasts reflect on molestation by gym owner, their foundation to help other victims of abuse

by Janet Pelletier

If the saying "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" holds true, two local young women have taken that axiom and run with it.

Courtney Kiehl and Alexa Hernandez were the shy ages of 13 and 9 when they were sexually abused by someone they trusted--their gymnastics coach.

Robert Shawler, 44, now a convicted sex offender with two strikes against him, owned Cal Gymnastics in Fremont, where the girls both practiced. The abuse began in practice sessions, Kiehl said. One day, as she was performing stretching exercises, Shawler slid his hand underneath her leotard.

Shocked and bewildered, Kiehl said she froze and continued on with her practice session. But as the incident continued to bother her, she decided to make a list of stretches she said she was uncomfortable with and emailed them to Shawler because she was too afraid to tell him to his face. Shawler told her they wouldn't be doing those stretches anymore and that Kiehl needed to delete any email correspondence on that subject. But despite her attempt to quash the abuse, it continued every day for a year, Kiehl said.

As terrorizing the incident was, Kiehl said she couldn't bring herself to tell anyone such as a teammate, let alone an adult. She was worried that if she told, the gym would shut down and it would affect other girls' future opportunities in gymnastics.

"I just felt like if it was only me, that I could handle it," she said.

"I didn't say anything because I didn't want the other girls to worry about their future at the gym," the now 18-year-old Fremont high school graduate said. "I thought I would be destroying others' dreams."

But what began as a casual conversation with teammates at a gymnastics meet became the dialogue that would bring her the courage to speak out.

"We were at a meet and we somehow brought (Shawler) up, about how weird he acts and a girl mentioned that he had touched her," she said. "Other girls then said the same thing had happened to them."

After finding out that Shawler had abused the other girls, Kiehl said she couldn't bear to be silent anymore.

"I was bawling. I told my mom that I was going to tell her something that would make her never want to go back to this gym," she said.

Kiehl's mother Joyce, who worked at the gym at the time, pulled her daughter out of any activities there and quit working there, leaving many to wonder why because it was unusual for someone as dedicated as she to just quit gymnastics.

Shawler continued to coach, her mother said.

A total of seven girls came forward about their abuse in 2004, with Kiehl leading the way. One of them was Alexa, now 14, who was 9 years old when incidents as similar to Kiehl's encounters began.

After Shawler was arrested, a trial began. The case ended in 2005 in a plea deal that gave him two felony charges and a jail sentence of three years with credit of time served. Due to the deal, the girls never testified, but were able to read victim's statements. Shawler was released from prison in June 2007, having served a total of two years, eight months.

During the trial proceedings, Kiehl and Alexa began thinking of a way that they could turn their suffering into something more positive. It was then that rubber bracelets such as Lance Armstrong's yellow Live Strong one were becoming popular. The girls decided to make one of their own that read "stronger now." From the bracelet came the ACHE Foundation, which stands for Abused Children Heard Everywhere.

Just like hearing other girls tell of their abuse, Kiehl and Alexa, a sophomore at Amador Valley High School, knew that the foundation would be an outlet for other victims to come forward with their stories. And it has been met with much success. Since it began in 2005, the girls and ACHE have been featured on "The Montel Williams Show," an ESPN special on abuse by coaches and "Good Morning America." And all the way, word spread like wildfire about the foundation and its website, www.achefoundation.com. Since then, the girls have received numerous emails of support.

"We had one woman who was 72 tell us that she had been abused when she was younger and only now had the courage to speak up after seeing our website," Kiehl said.

"If we can help one child, we've done what we set out to do," added Jeanne Hernandez, Alexa's mother.

Though the girls have found strength, it is still a difficult struggle. Kiehl, once a promising young gymnast, hasn't returned to gymnastics because it was too traumatic. Shawler had been her coach on and off from 6 years old.

"We were friends. We went to his wedding," she said. "He was like a second parent to me."

But she has moved on with her life in other ways. She just graduated from high school and will be attending UCLA in the fall. Instead of gymnastics, she is now a successful pole vaulter.

Alexa said she too has struggled to overcome her experience but wants to move past it. She said she'd like to speak to junior high school students about her experience and let them know it's okay to tell.

And as damaging as the abuse was to the teens, it's been a rollercoaster ride for their families.

"I think about it every time I go out," Jeanne Hernandez said.

Shawler, who was a Pleasanton resident at the time of the abuse, still lives in the area, in Livermore. His wife and children still reportedly live in Pleasanton.

Alexa, who continues to perform, but is currently recovering from an injury in January, said she is afraid that she'll see him at a gym meet, but she doesn't let it consume her. His wife continues to coach at an area gym.

But despite lingering feelings, the girls say they have been empowered by their foundation and the effect it has made.

"I feel stronger now," Kiehl said. "I won't take it anymore."

Sex offenders in Pleasanton

Melody Foreman, who works in the investigations unit of the Pleasanton Police Department and registers the city's sex offenders, said police keep close tabs on them.

"In this police department, we verify address, with I.D., check where they work, we know the car they drive," she said.

There are currently 38 sex offenders living in Pleasanton, compared to 75 in Livermore. Addresses can be looked up on the Megan's Law website.

"We have one of the lowest per capita rates of sex offenders living in our community because obviously you have to have a good job to live here," Foreman said. There's now about 80,000 registered sex offenders in the state. In Alameda County, there's probably about 2,500. About half of those live in the city of Oakland."

"(Police) Chief (Mike) Fraser takes this monitoring of sex offenders very seriously," she added. "We can pay attention, we have the resources."

Sex offenders are required to update their registration, name and vehicle information within five working days of their birthday each year, according to police. All registrants are required to notify local law enforcement within five days of any relocation in or outside the jurisdiction. If they fail to comply, a warrant is sought through the Alameda County District Attorney's office and an arrest can be made.

Foreman said Robert Shawler works in Pleasanton and there is no law against working within a certain distance of child-related centers.

"We can't control him there, but we can control where he is in the off hours," she said. "The reason we encourage them to work is because how else are you going to turn your life around and get on with your life if you can't have a paycheck coming in?"

She said he lives in Livermore because he wasn't able to find a place to live in Pleasanton that met the requirements.

ACHE Foundation response

"I can't really stand to read other people's stories because of how painful it is to know just how common this is. I also was molested when I was about 5 years old by a neighbor. I struggle a lot with feelings of guilt and shame. Although I've come a long way I still have a lot to work through. I really really admire and encourage you two young ladies who started this site. We need so many more outlets for people like us to speak without feeling judged or afraid. We need a voice to be heard and not thrown in the back burner as though there is no lifelong struggle for people who have gone through something so traumatic. I pray for all of us who are struggling with these experiences and looking for answers. For those who feel they are to blame in some way and for those who want to be whole. I know one day I will have the courage to tell my story without being afraid of being judged. And I look forward to that day. I know it will allow someone else to begin to heal. Just like this site will help me take another step forward. Thank you and God bless you and every single person who shares their story."

Posted by Concerned Mom, a member of the Harvest Park Middle School community, on Jul 11, 2008 at 10:59 am

Why would anybody let Robert Shawler work in their business? I have two children and would not frequent any business/place that employs a known sex offender, especially someone who like Robert Shawler abused kids for so many years.

I hope that the people employing Robert Shawler do not allow him anywhere near children/teens. Sex offenders, in my opinion, should stay in jail for life, so that they cannot hurt more kids and ruin their lives.

And I hope that Robert Shawler is not allowed at gym meets. Hopefully other coaches and gym officials will have the common sense to ban this guy from the meets. My children attend swim meets, and I would not want a convicted sex offender hanging around when they compete at meets.

Posted by Joanna, a resident of the Another Pleasanton neighborhood neighborhood, on Jul 11, 2008 at 11:19 am

I had many feelings reading this story:

1. Admiration for the girls. Your bravery in talking about your ordeal is beyond anything most people are capable of, you are going to go very far in life and make a real difference for the better in people's lives.

2. Anger and disgust that child molesters are 'monitored' instead of incarcerated for life.

3. The Pleasanton Weekly reported on the number of molesters living in Pleasanton. There are many more than the number stated. That number only reflects the ones caught. The vast majority are never caught.

4. The article states that the girls want to move 'past' the the abuse. You don't move 'past' abuse, you move through it. These girls need someone to hear their rage and sadness. They need to express their feelings, with all their intensity. They don't need someone to tell them to 'get past it', 'get over it,' or to stop thinking about it. The only way to heal is to feel the shame, terror, rage and sadness, and develop compassion for yourself. And grieve the loss of childhood.

5. Have you ever had someone tickle you, and you didn't want to be tickled, and they wouldn't stop? You feel very angry, and powerless, but your body might, as a natural reaction to being tickled, be laughing. You're laughing against your will, really. You're feeling scared and mad, but your body laughs as a reaction to the tickling. That's similar to one aspect of being molested. In some cases, your body is feeling aroused, but you're feeling terrified and angry. It's very confusing. It can make you hate feeling sexual in the future, when you're in a relationship. And feel guilty and ashamed of sexual feelings. And angry and distrustful of sexual partners.

6. Something is seriously wrong with our country and the light sentences, if any, that these cruel child molesters receive.

I am proud to live in the same city as these girls. You are amazing people.

Posted by Mary, a resident of the Another Pleasanton neighborhood neighborhood, on Jul 11, 2008 at 11:29 am

When a child is molested, they feel ashamed. They don't deserve to, but they do. Anytime an adult treats a child badly, the child feels ashamed, they believe they deserve the bad treatment. It's a sad fact of child psychology. Courtney and Alexa are fighting against that. They are showing all children that kids are not to blame for the crimes of adults. Courtney and Alexa are choosing not to hide. They are blazing a path for other kids who are alone and afraid. The work they are doing is incredibly important.

Posted by Cholo, a resident of Livermore, on Jul 11, 2008 at 11:34 am

It takes enormous courage for survivors of sexual violence to speak out. Well done!

Incarceration for life may be a solution. I have absolutely no sympathy for adults who sexually abuse kids and vulnerable adults.

Hopefully, survivor's will find someone qualified to provide proper treatment. Many therapist's pass themselves off as qualified to treat trauma after taking a weekend course. Not good enough. Consumer beware!

Posted by MainStreetDiva, a member of the Vintage Hills Elementary School community, on Jul 11, 2008 at 10:55 pm

I check the California Megan's Law website about once a month and am a little disturbed to see a registered sex offender (NOT the man in this article) identified as living just off of Muirwood (nearly adjacent to Foothill HS).

I hope that this is outdated information and that he no longer lives there. If he DOES live there, I would like to know why officials allow him to reside next to a high school.

Posted by Helen, a resident of the Foxborough Estates neighborhood, on Jul 12, 2008 at 12:39 am

I feel terrible that these wonderful girls have to live knowing this creep lives near them and works in their city. They could run into this creep at any time. It must be frightening for them. I feel safe in Pleasanton, and these girls should be able to feel safe too. They're being brave enough to publicize their trauma for the benefit of others. I'm sure they're afraid of him. It's incredibly unfair.

Posted by Concerned mom, a member of the Harvest Park Middle School community, on Jul 12, 2008 at 7:44 am

Please contact your representatives in Sacramento.

Prop. 83 is being challenged and should not be overturned. This will ensure sex offenders do not live near parks or schools. It is still in effect.

Web Link

I too would like to know why there is a sex offender living near Harvest Park (per Megan's database)......... shouldn't the police enforce the rules and make sure these awful people do not live near schools and parks?

Posted by Concerned mom, a member of the Harvest Park Middle School community, on Jul 12, 2008 at 7:50 am

article from the sfgate

Web Link

"The ballot measure, Proposition 83, was approved by 70 percent of California voters in November 2006. One of its provisions barred all registered sex offenders - whose crimes range from forcible rape to indecent exposure - from living within 2,000 feet of a public or private school or a park where children regularly gather.

State law previously prohibited only convicted child molesters from living within a quarter-mile of a school. The new law makes most densely populated areas of California off limits to many recent parolees.

The state initially sought to apply the residency restrictions to all 90,000 registered sex offenders in California, but federal judges ruled that it did not cover anyone paroled before the Nov. 7, 2006, passage of Prop. 83. Parole officials have begun enforcing the rules against those who were paroled after that."

Even though prop. 83 does not apply to those paroled before nov. 2006, the previous state law does: sex offenders cannot live within half a mile of a school. Pleasanton police should check into this and make sure no sex offender is allowed to break the law.

Posted by Concerned mom, a member of the Harvest Park Middle School community, on Jul 12, 2008 at 7:56 am

Correction: sex offenders cannot live within 1/4 mile from a school

Posted by Cameron, a resident of the Avignon neighborhood, on Jul 12, 2008 at 9:26 am

I have two new heroes, Alexa and Courtney, angels on earth.

Posted by Resident, a resident of the Country Fair neighborhood, on Jul 14, 2008 at 7:18 am

Police officer Melody Forman is either breathtakingly naïve or her comments were taken out of context when she stated in the story: “We have one of the lowest per capita rates of sex offenders living in our community because obviously you have to have a good job to live here,". Assuming her comment was accurately quoted, I’m shocked by what she said.

First, what logic says someone having a “good job” precludes them from breaking the law? Second, there are people living here that are unemployed, underemployed, have “bad jobs” and flat out hate their jobs. Nothing about employment status connects with unlawful behavior. And finally, there is a growing population of “Section 8” residents. These are people that otherwise would not be able to afford to live in our town if it weren’t for a federal program that subsidizes the cost of housing.

Posted by Grace, a resident of the Highland Oaks neighborhood, on Jul 14, 2008 at 9:30 am

Very good points that "Resident" makes just above. Having a good job does not mean that a person will not break the law. Living in a "good" neighborhood does not mean that one will not commit a sex offense. Sex offenders, in all sad likelihood, live in our neighborhoods in Pleasanton without our knowledge. It's only when they become *convicted* sex offenders that the law steps in and determines where he/she can live.

The quote from the conversation with Police Office Foreman:

"She said he lives in Livermore because he wasn't able to find a place to live in Pleasanton that met the requirements."

indicates that it was harder/impossible to find a place for Shawler to live in Pleasanton, but the requirements were able to be met in Livermore is interesting. What I believe it speaks to is that Pleasanton has more parks (since I believe parks are considered "likely places where children will congregate/be present") than Livermore. With so many parks, in addition to the schools, which might be of equal number in Livermore, it is nearly impossible to find a spot with the required distance for a convicted sex offender to live... where another registered sex offender is not already living.

I could be wrong on this point, but it's a more logical answer to the situation than Police Officer Foreman's quote: “We have one of the lowest per capita rates of sex offenders living in our community because obviously you have to have a good job to live here".

Perhaps Officer Foreman could clarify what she meant, since there is confusion about the way she was quoted in the article.

But most of all, kudos to the young women who stepped forward to help prevent further abuse from occurring under Shawler's tutelage.

Posted by Brian, a resident of the Foxborough Estates neighborhood, on Jul 14, 2008 at 2:44 pm

Why is this state so afraid to incarcerate these pieces of human junk for decades? This monitoring isn't going to stop them from molesting. It is compulsive behavior and does not stop. They need to rot in prison.

Posted by Anthony, a resident of the Remen Tract neighborhood, on Jul 14, 2008 at 2:46 pm

It sounds like the officer in question thinks only bums molest children. Well, they're all bums, but some are well paid bums. Child molesters are lawyers, pediatricians, government officials, judges, therapists, police officers, they come in every social strata and income level.

Posted by Concerned Mom, a member of the Harvest Park Middle School community, on Jul 15, 2008 at 1:21 pm

I agree with the comments: sex offenders can come from all backgrounds and professions. Why doesn't the Pleasanton Police look into the living distance of the sex offender that lives on Harvest Road? (per Megan's law database). The map shows his residence to be very close to Walnut Grove Elementary, and if it is 1/4 mile from it (looks that way on the map), that sex offender is in violation of state law and should be asked to move elsewhere.

I do not understand why sex offenders are released from prison. Many often repeat their crimes and are a danger to children. The goal should be to protect children, not to try to "rehabilitate" these very awful individuals.

Posted by Pennygale Gusman, a resident of another community, on Jul 15, 2008 at 8:29 pm

I am pleased that my cousin forwarded this article to me. My husband and I work as volunteers for The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. We strive to support and empower parents worst nighmares through resources for either exploitation such as due to internet predators and or missing and abducted children. Much of which has child abuse that goes along with it.

I am proud of Alexa and the strong young lady she has become. She will be able to continue to help other girls and give them the stength and the hope to get through their personal struggles due to the choices of one who uses children and victimizes them.

It is so very sad that our children are not safe practically anywhere and those we think we can trust, we find out they have betrayed our trust. We cannot live afraid however, but we can make a difference by using our personal tragedy that we experience and go forward standing taller and stronger, ready to help those who stand in need of our love, friendship and support. It helps us to heal when we reach out to others.

With a Brightness of Hope, Pennygale Gusman

Posted by sandra kay, ttgp, a resident of the Another Pleasanton neighborhood neighborhood, on Jul 18, 2008 at 7:04 pm

i sing my praises to courtney, alexa and the pleasanton weekly write here: Web Link

thank you! thank you courteny and alexa for speaking out. thank you pleasanton weekly for covering this story with intelligence, integrity and journalistic wisdom.

i agree w/others that the comment by foreman is a false and unfortunate one:

"We have one of the lowest per capita rates of sex offenders living in our community because obviously you have to have a good job to live here,"

but this one unfortunate/misinformed quote does not take away from the greater accomplishments of this brave she-roic story.

thank you!

sandra kay, ttgp

volunteer, Web Link

Posted by Jerry, a resident of the Oak Hill neighborhood, on Jul 19, 2008 at 12:49 am

I totally agree these young women should be very proud of the courageous action they took by coming forward and I hope they understand we are also very proud of them.

After reading the article several times, I have a question that has bothered me and I'm not sure how to state it since some may/could consider it casting a shadow on the courage shown by these young women or others involved. I assure anyone reading this, that is not the purpose of the question. It's only my attempt to gain some understanding of the time frame between when the young lady first reported this to her mother and when the man was arrested. The article stated the mother quit her job at the gym and pulled her daughter out of activities there, "leaving many to wonder why". According to the article, "Shawler continued to coach".

Did I miss something in the article or was this man allowed to continue working with young girls for a period of time after his actions were reported to the mother? That's my question and I probably should have kept my thoughts to myself.....

Posted by Margery, a resident of the Another Pleasanton neighborhood neighborhood, on Jul 20, 2008 at 7:04 pm

Jerry, my guess is the mother did not tell anyone about the abuse at that time. That's a guess, I don't know.

If that's true, here's some reasons why a person might not report abuse. People often think badly of victims of child abuse. For example, one of the girls abused reported that her father now treats her differently. Her own father.

People fear retaliation and being accused of being a liar.

People tend to rally round the abuser and act as if the child victim is making trouble for the adult.

Notice the slap on the wrist that the child molester received for his crimes. Our legal system is telling us--child molestation is not a big deal.

During trials, the child is sometimes made to seem like the instigator of the crime. One judge accused a five year old of acting 'flirtatious'.

In some countries a woman is stoned to death for being the victim of rape. How different are we in our attitudes in this country?

Posted by Jerry, a resident of the Oak Hill neighborhood, on Jul 20, 2008 at 11:06 pm

Margery,

Thanks for the info. I understand.

That so-called father should be ashamed of himself. At a time when his daughter needs him most. I'm supposedly a grown man and that brings tears to my eyes. How sad....

Posted by Past gymnast of Robert's, a resident of the Castlewood neighborhood, on Jul 23, 2008 at 1:15 pm

First of all, just about all of you commenting have no direct connection to this story and although I feel for those whom have been molested/abused, I have to defend Robert Shawler. Being a gymnast of his for 6 years, and a close friend for 12 I believe in him 100%. I am now in my twenties and when I think of this whole situation it completely saddens me. I do agree with all of your comments on sexual abuse and how awful it must be for the victims, but in this case I can't help but wonder what the motives are behind this news article. If they are to bring up the subject of child abuse and create an organization where those who have been abused can go and come together to be strong and move on with their lives I say "great article! - Great actions from the community." But I can't help but notice that the tone is directly aimed at ruining his life now. Why are people so hateful? Were all of you at the hearing when the judge ruled for minimum sentence on this case? (why was that? - minimum) Do all of you know about the precious family he has and how hurtful this is to them? Okay, so you don't know Robert, you just read what's in the paper and pass judgement, but in the midst of it all, please remember that these girls (and their families) that are so brave for moving forward with their lives are now doing what they claim he has done to them - making him suffer. I cannot tell you that it happened, or it didn't. I can tell you that in all the years I was coached by Robert Shawler there was absolutely no mention, no whispers at competitions, no gossip about anything of the sort. I spent so many hours alone with Robert at the gym when my mom was working and he is such a kind hearted, caring individual that is now working to get his life back together after this horrible experience. I urge you all to please view all of the facts on this before passing such cruel judgements on one man. And I urge the families to please be above retaliation. Like I said I am no one to say it did not happen to them and if it did I am truly sorry for your pain and I can admire your efforts in creating ACHE Foundation and seeking out such large media networks to expand your following; I do believe that you are doing a great thing for Abused Children everywhere. Readers should also note that the city of Pleasanton does a fabulous job protecting the children in the community and the laws for sexual offenders are extremely tight; which should make all families sleep better at night (I know I do). Lastly, I couldn't read this article and comments without sobbing. In my heart of hearts I know Robert is a good person and wonderful family man. If you dislike him after reading this article so be it, but please remember that like these young ladies that you are supporting, his children are open to suffering too and I beg you to think about them before making any hurtful remarks without knowing the true details. I only speak for Robert Shawler, who has been marked as a sexual offender for life, I am not defending all cases, nor am I commenting on them, especially since I don't have the details.

Posted by Margery, a resident of the Another Pleasanton neighborhood neighborhood, on Jul 23, 2008 at 3:37 pm

I am worried for Robert Shawler's children. It is almost impossible to believe that a convicted child molester can legally retain custody of his children. He, and all of them, should only be allowed supervised visitation with their children.

There are always people who will sing the praises of a child molester, and cast doubt on the victims. It's sickening.

Posted by And Throw Away The Key, a resident of the Castlewood neighborhood, on Jul 23, 2008 at 3:57 pm

It IS unfair that he is marked as a sexual offender for life. It would be fair if he were incarcerated for life.

Posted by Jerry, a resident of the Oak Hill neighborhood, on Jul 24, 2008 at 1:24 am

If these young ladies moving forward with their lives and starting ACHE Foundation is causing Robert Shawler to suffer, so be it. These young ladies are not responsible for his suffering - Robert Shawler is responsible for Robert Shawler's suffering. Don't even try to move the blame in another direction.

I don't doubt Shawler's children, and probably his entire family, are suffering and I wish I could do something to make the suffering go away. It must be horrifying to be told your father/husband has been charged, and later convicted, of such a crime. I don't believe his children should bear the burden and humiliation of what their father did but, unfortunately, we live in a society where some will associate the children with their father's behavior. This is wrong but it happens all to often, especially among the children's peers.

I didn't find the tone of the article as "directly aimed at ruining his life now". I thought the tone of the article was praising the young ladies that came forward and informing others that have suffered like abuse they now have a place to vent their feelings with others that can more closely understand those feelings, which experts in child abuse say is important.

Bottom line as I see it - the person responsible for ruining Robert Shawler's life is Robert Shawler...........

Posted by Stacey, a resident of the Amberwood/Wood Meadows neighborhood, on Jul 24, 2008 at 8:21 am

Past gymnast of Roberts'

In some ways your post reminds me of the guy in Austria who kept his daughter locked in the basement, raped her and had kids with her and all of this was kept secret from the rest of his family for almost 20 years.

Posted by past gymnast of roberts, a resident of another community, on Jan 12, 2009 at 11:01 pm

Response to: Posted by Past gymnast of Robert's, a resident of the Castlewood neighborhood, on Jul 23, 2008 at 1:15 pm

I, too, was a gymnast of Roberts, yes he was a good guy, but you cannot deny the truth. I have a feeling I know who posted this, but

Don't you remember the Seattle meet at the Cheesecake Factory? that's when the skeletons were pulled out of the closet. We all started talking. There are so many people that didn't come forward...me being one of them. The truth hurts, but it had been going on for years. He was the backbone of the gym and an AMAZING coach, but it is unfortunate that he did what he did. I hope he has learned from what he has done and moved on.

Posted by Sharon, a resident of the Pleasanton Valley neighborhood, on Jun 12, 2010 at 11:47 am

How about his wife who stayed with him, had 2 kids with him, and is a coach at Edge Gymnastics. They even hired her husband to be the janitor there. She walks around like the world did her wrong.I think she is as sick as he is.