Bergoglio's reputation for personal simplicity also exercised an undeniable appeal a Prince of the Church who chose to live in a simple apartment rather than the archbishop's palace, who gave up his chauffeured limousine in favor of taking the bus to work, and who cooked his own meals.
Now, earlier today, he announced that he intended to have all the gold in the Vatican melted down and distributed among poor heterosexual women in the Church who have heterosexual children and have never had abortions.
Some expressed concern that the Vatican, without its gold, is like Van Gogh's "Sunflowers" in black and white. "Is there a single material item in the Vatican that is not forged out of gold?" asked one dumbfounded worshipper? And ask another: "Where will all the poor people's donations to the Church go if not toward gold and sexual predation lawsuits?"
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