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Original post made by concerened mother, Downtown, on Feb 1, 2011

I am becoming more concerened with the [inappropriate word edited] going on with our teenagers. My child and I were out and it ran into a friend with a black eye and I asked what happened, they said nothing the other child ran into someone at a party and they don't like each other and the kid hit that person. This happens a lot lately.

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Comments (15)

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Posted by another parent
a resident of Another Pleasanton neighborhood
on Feb 1, 2011 at 8:51 pm

I suggest you make an appt. to speak with an administrator at your child's school. Bring documentation and be prepared to cite specifics. If nothing happens after that, then you might have a beef. But until the matter is brought to someone's attention how can they be expected to deal with it? The high schools in town are big and they can't be aware of everything. Give them a chance to help.

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Posted by Really?
a resident of Canyon Creek
on Feb 2, 2011 at 11:16 am

You're right, where is the supervision? Pretty sure that PARENTS are the people for the actions of their child, not the teachers. Do not blame teachers for bullying. It stems from the parents and the homelife, not the 56 minutes a child spends in a classroom. Pretty sure if any teacher I knew saw bullying going on they address it right then and there. It is NOT accepted in the classrooms so I don't know what exactly you're referring to with the teachers not doing anything about it. PS way to call out a group of teenagers on a public forum, that is really appropriate and mature of you......If you have a specific problem with someone, go to the school.

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Posted by Marybeth
a resident of Another Pleasanton neighborhood
on Feb 3, 2011 at 3:47 pm

This is something that, unfortunately, has been going on for years. I do feel it is getting worse, though. My son was bullied, I went to the principal and his teachers -- they all said that he needed to grow thick skin because that's life -- and did NOTHING about it. So, the message is - "suck it up, that's the way life is". Well, I don't think that life has to be that way. Yes, we all need to let things roll off our backs, but a child doesn't know that, so the mean words and actions go straight to their hearts and doesn't leave. The teachers DO see it, but fear getting involved because they don't want any hassle from the parents. Since teachers don't do yard duty anymore, they are oblivious to what goes on in the playground. The parents that do yard duty see it and sometimes protect the offender because they know the family. The entire community is to blame for the increase in bullying and we all need to stand up, admit it, and eliminate it. When kids are in school is when they should be nurtured -- not always given life lessons.

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Posted by Risa
a resident of Another Pleasanton neighborhood
on Feb 4, 2011 at 8:39 am

Teachers in elementary schools do yard duty.

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Posted by Maja7
a resident of Vintage Hills
on Feb 4, 2011 at 9:34 am

It's a parental issue. Teachers & Administrators can only stop the inappropriate behavior as it's happening or respond after the fact by talking to the child and parent(s).

One of my children was bullied (verbal taunts, taking of the lunch) by a classmate on a daily basis to the point that my child didn't want to go to school. At this point, it wasn't about me talking to my child about being the 'better person' and letting it roll of his/her back. I spoke to the teacher and she kept her eye on the situation, spoke to the other child and parent. A the same time, I thought I should speak to the child's mother because our children had been in school together since Kindergarten. I got a reaction that I did NOT expect! I was told that maybe my child needed to play with other children not play with her child. That's a resolution but not attending to the issue of her bullying child (who continues to be a bully today). Totally ignoring the fact that her child was seeking out my child to bully!!

That's the problem. The parents of the bullies are either incapable of resolving the issue with their children or they just don't think their child's behavior needs correction. Children learn from their parents what is acceptable, unfortunately, in some cases. Happy to point out, however, the other child has not bothered my child since my conversation with the "other parent" and I get the 'cold shoulder'. Situation resolved, I guess, but not in the ideal way in which we both act like adults and correct the situation not merely avoid it.

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Posted by Bill
a resident of Amberwood/Wood Meadows
on Feb 4, 2011 at 12:48 pm

Anyone remember Columbine?......respecting your fellow students?

Back when PUSD had school buses, there was a bully who terrorized kids on the bus as well as at school. This child’s parents were well respected, having volunteered as local scout masters as well as holding office in Alisal’s PTA. Everyone believed that this child was a bad seed until these parents got a visit from the police after a complaint was filed against their child. Turned out the parents were more screwed up then the child was.

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Posted by FTR
a resident of Canyon Oaks
on Feb 6, 2011 at 8:56 pm

I am about 40 years old and the only thing new about this is the cyberbullying thing. Even the parents reaction of "It wasn't like that when I was a kid and it's getting worse." is cliche. I grew up here and can tell you story after story of incidents that would possibly make the papers these days. Remember being taught the sticks and stones saying? They teach the opposite now. I honestly think kids are more sensitive as a whole now, less racist, more prone to get help from an adult. Totally my own opinion but I grew up here.

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Posted by Marybeth
a resident of Another Pleasanton neighborhood
on Feb 9, 2011 at 8:42 pm

Risa - the teachers do not do yard duty during lunch. They go eat lunch. Enough said.

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Posted by Be Positive
a resident of Another Pleasanton neighborhood
on Feb 9, 2011 at 9:00 pm

Teachers do yard duty at recesses, not lunch time. All workers are entitled to a lunch break. Teachers need a moment to use the bathroom Marybeth- enough said.

For those who dont recognize the effects of cutting $20million dollars from our local schools....just listen to Marybeth- she is stating one of the effects loud and clear- 23% cut in administration, lack of supervision, no VP at elementary schools- this is what this community wants in their cries for cutting the extras! This is what you get.

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Posted by Amador Student
a resident of Vintage Hills
on Feb 14, 2011 at 5:55 pm

Dear concerned mother,

As an Amador student, I witnessed the fight itself and it did not occur at a party but rather during the end of seventh period. The fight was over a girl who is not part of the "eleven" at all. She is, however, part of the CLASS OF 2011. Please get your facts straight before targeting girls who were uninvolved in the event.

If your child is truly bothered by the actions of this group of girls I suggest you discuss the issue with the administration instead of posting anonymous comments on a public forum because that accomplishes absolutely nothing.

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Posted by Concerned Mother
a resident of Vintage Hills
on Feb 15, 2011 at 8:40 am

If you check the facts there have now been two times that two boys have gotten into fights and just punched kids. One time was at a party and the other time was in the seventh period at the high school.
I would be careful about casting stones.
My only concern is for these children who are unsuspecting victims to these bullies. Especially the female ones.

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Posted by Amador Student
a resident of Vintage Hills Elementary School
on Feb 15, 2011 at 5:07 pm

Many fights have taken place, just like they always have...what's your point?

I highly doubt you know this group of girls personally because if you did you would feel differently. There are two sides to every story so maybe you should check yours before "casting stones."

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Posted by Another Amador Student
a resident of Amador Valley High School
on Feb 15, 2011 at 7:14 pm

As a student at Amador I do know these girls and they are ridiculous. Unfortunatly not many people find it important to stand up to these bullies. Please explain to me why so many people seem to be afraid of these 11 girls. I'm not. They're just a bunch of immature girls who for some reason think its totally cool to talk trash and bash on others. Are you really that self conscious that you cant be your own person so you have to hate on other people?

And what is with the getting in fights over such lame stuff? It does not make you cool at all to walk around punching people just because of something that happened.

I was there and I saw the "fight" and it was seriously pointless and did nothing to solve and problems. We obviously need to learn how to talk instead of hitting or threatening.

Most of the Class of 2011 are great and I can easily hang out with whoever I want except for that group of 11 girls who seem to think they control everything. Those girls are even afraid of their "leader" ridiculous! We are all about to head to college and people are still worried about such petty things. Get over it!

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Posted by Amador Student
a resident of Amador Valley High School
on Feb 15, 2011 at 9:11 pm

Every group on campus has a leader. People blame the groups follow the leader, like the 11 girls, and nobody says anything about the person they get their instructions from. Likewise, it would be wrong to blame soldiers for going into a war for the wrong reasons, because it was the military's fault for sending them there...

The 11 girls are just pawns, they cause all the mess on campus but they aren't the ones who start it. [name removed] is the leader of these 11 girls, he should be the one to blame, not the girls.

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Posted by Amador Student
a resident of Amador Valley High School
on Feb 15, 2011 at 10:20 pm

Please check your facts before you go talking trash about people. To the person above, [removed] is a junior and is in no way related to these "eleven girls". Also, the eleven girls get blamed for so much, for no reason. Take a look at the rest of the school. Getting stomachs pumped, getting DUI's, getting pregnant, creating fights, getting arrested. Not ONE of those girls have gotten close to any of those. So stop pointing fingers to them just because they have a name, and they are an easy target. Its getting old.

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