Those two Northwest have run out of excuses. Here’s a little help...

Ten new excuses for failing to hear air traffic controllers screaming at the top of their lungs over the cockpit speakers (and they were Bose Wave speakers!): “WHERE ARE YOU GUYS GOING???!! THE AIRPORT IS BACK HERE, YOU DOPES -- LIKE, 150 MILES, DUH?!!!!!”

The pilots respond...

1. We were NOT asleep, our eyes were just closed while holding a séance to reach Amelia Earhart.

2. We were NOT asleep, we were on Amelia Earhart’s Facebook page -- posthumous.

3. We were NOT asleep, we were playing Microsoft Flight Simulator to stay alert -- but we got the Blue Screen of Death.

4. We were NOT asleep, we were on our laptops busy looking at... uhhh, looking at something ... something stimulating enough to keep us awake. Yeah, that’s it!

5. We were NOT asleep, someone gave us the new ‘sleeping pill’ iTouch app.

6. We were NOT asleep, we were watching President Obama on Youtube castigating Fox News. Okay, we were cheering and didn’t hear anything.

7. We were NOT asleep, a terrorist took over and diverted the flight to Kabul -- but he bailed out when we ran out of humus.

8. We were NOT asleep, we just didn’t want to land at Minneapolis and disrupt the recount for Al Franken.

9. We were NOT sleeping with Paris Hilton.

10. We were NOT asleep, we were on Monster, Linkedin, and Yahoo HotJobs ... just a little ahead of time.

Later, air traffic controllers were further overheard trying to cajole the wayward pilots: “Naw, come on back, guys -- we promise we’ll be nice ... We’ll put you up at a nice, comfortable airport hotel. No, really! Al Franken is fluffing up the pillows right now as we speak!”

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by DoUgLaS kEnDaLl

Author web site -------------> http://www.DougKen.com

Email comments and favorite jokes to ---> doug@DougKen.com

:-) <-- warning to the humor impaired