Rush, ever the optimist, continued his quest to own a team -- ANY team -- this week...
He tried to buy an Olympic ping-pong team, but the drive-by-media floated a rumor that Rush would insist all the balls be white. The Asian team, preferring modern yellow balls, hurled their paddles at Rush, then took off for Bangkok to shop for more and to practice their paddling.
He next tried to buy an NBA basketball team, but the drive-by-media floated a rumor that it was Rush who had invented that atrocious off-color joke “how do you keep a team of basketballs from raping a woman -- throw them a hoop with a virgin basket.”
He tried to buy an Iditarod dog sled team up in Alaska, but Rush’s ‘friends’ in the drive-by-media floated a rumor that he sleeps with his pet cat Punkin. The coach accused Rush of being a cat lover, and all the dogs ran off into the tundra and were last seen up on a mountain howling mournfully at the moon along with Todd Palin.
He tried to buy a tree pullin’ Arkansas mule team, but PETA floated a rumor that they weren’t horses at all but really castrated horses, and Rush had supplied the pinking sheers, which he kept at home proudly up on the mantle. The coach of this team flicked his cigarette butt at Rush and spit his ‘baccy at Rush’s feet (at the same time), accused Rush of not being a horse lover, and the team of mules ran off into the Arkansas forest in search of fillies. They were rounded up and successfully led on their quest by a famous Arkansas stallion named Bill.
Rush trued to buy the Blue Angels acrobatic flight team, finding them for sale up on eBay, placed there along with other departments of the U.S. armed forces by the present progressive Congress, but the Democrat Party floated a big rumor that Rush intended to fire all the pilots and hire cheap, H1B visa pilots from India and rename the famous flying team: “The Blue Avatars of Vishnu” -- additionally adding three or four more pairs of wings to each of the jet fighters.
by DoUgLaS kEnDaLl
More zany humor at-------------> http://www.DougKen.com
Email political opportunities in Afghanistan to---> doug@DougKen.com
:-) <-- this is a warning this post may not be healthy to the humor impaired and pregnant mothers