This week on ABC news (Slogan: ‘where we tell you what to think about the news, and also what to think about your beloved President, your beloved media, your spouse, and your creator’)...

"People in this country had a lot of trust to vote for him to make a change and they really didn't know what kind of change," said Pleasantopia resident

ABC NEWS INTEPRETATION:

“Our dear President knows about your trust and cares deeply for you; and is working night and day to bring about divine change; but this kind of change, changing every aspect of America as we know it because America has become such a bruise upon the world, will take time, and money, LOTS of money, more money than we have or have ever had, but that’s quite okay because your President is magic and has discovered the secret of magically transporting money right out of your pocket now, your pocket tomorrow, next year, and on up until 2089, including from the pockets of your children, grandchildren, and your pets if they make any money...weather you like it or not. You DO have some extra money for more taxes, don’t you?? Your President will just assume that you do. Nice, citizen! Here, have a biscuit..”

FOXY FAUX NEWS INTEPRETATION:

“You got duped, you fools! Were you asleep during high school history?? Were you stoned?? Duh?! You voted for another politician who promises that government workers have magical powers to accomplish anything they say they can. My country’s dying and you’re killing it. Who could believe voters as dumb as you could vote to destroy such a glorious political device as the American constitution? AAAhhhh – I’m melting! I’m melting!” -- Glen Beck reporting

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by DoUgLaS kEnDaLl

More at------------- http://www.DougKen.com

Email comments to--- doug@DougKen.com

:-) <-- Required warning to anyone with HDS (Humor Deficit Syndrome)