Posted by resident, a resident of the Downtown neighborhood, on Oct 7, 2009 at 10:12 pm
What seems to be going on is that the writer of the column must be trying to sell something and the weekly is playing into it. I plan to cancel my written and email subscription to the paper as they have little, if anything, to offer any longer.
Posted by Douglas Kendall, a resident of the Downtown neighborhood, on Oct 8, 2009 at 6:45 pm Douglas Kendall is a member (registered user) of PleasantonWeekly.com
I plan to cancel my written and email subscription to the paper, and I've put my house up for sale, and I'm moving someplace where my dear children cannot possibly be exposed to PRATTLE & TATTLE anymore. They're snickering uproariously, and they need to be doing their homework.
We're moving to Afghanistan because the Internet recently got shot away, so the kids won’t get to that awful ‘Weekly.com Plus, housing is less expensive -- you can’t believe what we can get from the sale of our Pleasanton home -- even after paying off the 2nd, the 3rd, the 4th, and the 5th equity lines of credit... Pesky recessions...
Yes, our cave there in Afghanistan is nice and roomy and quiet. Just one neighbor, too. Nice fella. Tall, Arabic gentleman. Hates America, though. We tell him we’re from Canada. Eh! LOL We just keep saying ‘eh’ all the time, so he really thinks we’re Canadian. His visitors all carry lots of bombs and guns and things. Pretty insecure, I think. But, he’s really so nice -- he's talked my oldest son into attending flight school -- and he’ll pay for it, too!
You see, there really is a whole other world out there besides the Pleasanton Weekly and that PRATTLE & TITTLATE drivel. Come on, everyone, let’s all show ‘em! Sell your houses! Let’s empty this town!
Posted by Douglas Kendall, a resident of the Downtown neighborhood, on Oct 9, 2009 at 8:22 am Douglas Kendall is a member (registered user) of PleasantonWeekly.com
PRATTLE & TATTLE TAKING OVER ANCIENT FORUM OF PLEASANTOPIA
Yes, Douglas Kendall shall henceforth be known as CAESAR KENDALL.
Recently, leading his legion of software consultants fresh from a successful conquest in the dangerous Silicon Valley (Kendall has awarded his son the new name Siliconicus in celebration), Caesar Kendall has DONE THE UNTHINKABLE and CROSSED THE ARROYO MACHO downtown, right into the heart of PLEASANTOPIA along Main Street, where city fathers, led by Madame Mayor Hosterperson with her hawk Rocky perched majestically upon her shoulder, hastily constructed a fresh Arch du Affluence across Main Street in tribute of Caesar Kendall’s triumph over the recession in finding jobs for his entire legion of software consultants. Rocky the Flying Hawk suddenly rose high in the air to catch an escaping canary -- and this was regarded as an outstanding omen for the whole affair.
The day was saved by local Congressman Jerry McNerney who whipped out his cell phone, and placed a quick call to the latest political savior in Washington DC. The legion of software consultants begged the Savior of Washington DC not to destroy their new defense contracts. And so the Savior, using his incredible political power, merely, right then and there, cast Caesar Kendall’s legion of software consultants into a herd of pigs, which all ran squealing loudly down the hill to drown in Arroyo Macho. And so they were dead.
Caesar Kendall was spared, having fled the scene to hide out within the Pleasanton Weekly Forum*, an ancient area across from Richert Lumbert, where political pressure, from national to local, is loath to trespass.
* The Pleasanton Weekly Forum serves Pleasantopia as the traditional central hub for justice, worship of the gods, and worship of hot gossip.
by DoUgLaS kEnDaLl
:-) <-- Warning: content possibly humorous -- author on caffeine
Posted by Nosy Neighbors, a resident of the Pleasanton Heights neighborhood, on Oct 9, 2009 at 9:45 am
Holy pirated discussion thread batman, you mean to tell me that somebody is trolling the PW message boards? That just has to be the... [portion removed by staff for being wholly irrelevant to discussion, off topic, politically biased, poorly written & just plain stupid]...just so that a group of entitled, self-righteous...[once again, portion removed by editorial czar for being just plain crazy talk by some blogging fool]...measure G supporter?
Posted by Kafka-esque, a resident of the Another Pleasanton neighborhood neighborhood, on Oct 9, 2009 at 9:53 am
Ahh yes, I recall this type of prose you speak of. I believe it's referred to as, I R O N Y. Or something to that effect. You don't see irony rear it's head much these days so when it does pop up it's often mistaken for anger, hate speech, right wing lunacy, etc.