RIYADH, Saudi Arabia – *NEWSFLASH* Arab oil producing states are planning to once again drive the price of oil sky high – higher than a gusher on a hot, Saudi day, even. And that’s high -- that’s even higher than Chicago’s Buckingham Fountain recently moved to Oprah’s front yard for watering her pets. (Chicago gave it to her as a down payment for securing the 2016 Olympics.)
To get the barrel price of crude oil back up to where Americans feel that painful pinch, Arabs plan to lower the supply using a very inexpensive method: Stuffing U.S. dollars into the wells. Presently, U.S. dollars are extremely plentiful abroad, and Saudi leaders plan to kill two camels with one stone by artificially reducing the supply of oil, and cleaning up their fair land of all the messy mounds of money that’s been accumulating for decades.
Says chief oil minister Al-bin Loafin: “We grow tired of the decadent effect of the American dollar on our country. Just look at the long-haired old woman you Americans have on your one dollar bill! She is uncovered. Shocking! Most shocking! And her blouse is open. Typical American decadence! To the wells with all of you!!”
by DoUgLaS kEnDaLl
:-) <-- warning sign to the humor impaired