MOVIE REVIEW - JULIA vs. JULIA

Last night was Date Night, so I took Mrs. Kendall to the movies, to see a chick-flick. I take the wife to chick-flicks as an act of supreme love. Taking a wife to a chick-flick can also be a supreme act of unrequited love.

I believe we saw something like JULIA vs. JULIA. Last week, we saw THE TIME TRAVELLER'S COOK. The movie this week was about the life a cook starting out in New York City in 2002 and ending up back in time in Paris, France 1948, or something like that.

Or, maybe the movies were the other way around – I’ve got a little ADD or SUB or something – I can’t remember. (The wife says it’s everything from ADA to ADZ. Our sophisticated college daughter asserts that I’ve got all sorts of 4-letter acronyms which I won’t even TRY to remember -- or I might accidentally set off a 4-letter F-bomb or two). Whoops, I digress..

Oh, I remember the movie now! Julia Childs is a cook with a weird affliction causing her to instantly travel back in time whenever she accidentally cuts herself while cooking -- the worse the injury the farther back in time. (One awful time, after sampling the cooking wine a little too much, she was trying to debone her first roast pig and cut off her hand completely, sending her 2,000 years back in time where she fortunately met Jesus, who, being a good Jew, rebuked her for cooking pork, put her hand back on, and even cured her left-handedness for free, making her ambidextrous so she could cook two meals at once because He knew that one day she would need to win IRON CHEF in order to save the world. (I think this was a hint there will be a sequel to the movie.)

The movie was a little hard on Republicans. Every time Julia got hurt with a knife, she’d angrily blurt out “NIXON!” and immediately go back in time. And if it was during a Republican presidential administration, she’d knife the Republican President to death, and escape back to the future.

She also kind of did the reverse aging thing (maybe Brad Pitt produced the movie – he likes to do that) and finally wound up as a cute and perky social worker in New York in 2002 with President Gore in the Whitehouse, because by then conservatives like George Bush (technically a ‘virtual’ conservative) were too afraid to run for the Presidency, the Republican Party being completely outlawed as the essential cause of Global Warming (and of Global Cooling, too, just in case – ohhh, let’s just call it ‘climate change’ to cover all bases and keep that fear money rolling in).