Posted by Confused, a resident of the Another Pleasanton neighborhood neighborhood, on Feb 1, 2010 at 10:00 am
I don't "get" any of your comments - I do "get" the fact that we have some ignorant prejudiced folks in our midst though - and they all seem to congregate on-line at the Town Forum - bunch of damn haters
Posted by Jon, a resident of the Happy Valley neighborhood, on Feb 1, 2010 at 10:11 am
Do you really think people need a description? How many people were beaten on Foothill rd at 1:45 on Sunday morning? I mean come on if you saw this you would know. Do you really think people saw this but don't remember because we did not say a white man about 5"10 with brown hair. Oh, now I remember. Glad they said the description.
And Stacey- You are exactly right. He will probably make her feel guilty for his spending time in jail too. Very sad.
Posted by Common Sense, a resident of the Another Pleasanton neighborhood neighborhood, on Feb 1, 2010 at 12:17 pm
I hope the girls gets help and never goes back to her "boyfriend." The problem these days is that we see too many powerful women (Clinton, Spitzer) putting up with stuff that no woman should have to put up with. Whether it is adultery or physical abuse, women should stand up for themselves and walk away from their so called "loved" ones.
Let's start leading by example, let's teach all girls to walk away from guys who are abusive, whether the abuse is emotional or physical.
Posted by Anonymous, a resident of the Another Pleasanton neighborhood neighborhood, on Feb 1, 2010 at 3:37 pm
Is it really as easy as that? To just walk away? Can't people be given a chance to change? If you really love someone then don't you owe it to yourself to see it through, maybe with therapy. And what about when its the woman being abusive? Can a man walk away and take the kids when she "emotionally" abuses him (maybe for one week out of the month...every month) I think the divorce rate wouldn't be so high if people didn't bail on relationships (that they chose to be in) when times get rough.
Let me be clear, no one deserves to be abused. The abuse needs to be addressed and STOPPED, but outright leaving isn't always the answer. Then the person can abuse again. But if you can get to the root of it and stop the cycle of abuse, then maybe we could raise more respectful children.
Posted by another voice, a resident of the Another Pleasanton neighborhood neighborhood, on Feb 1, 2010 at 10:48 pm
BTW - YEAH - it IS that easy to walk away - you should turn on your heel and RUN away - it's the BEST thing - don't EVER let someone have an opportunity to treat you that way again - erase them from your life - maybe you loved them but you need to let it go and move on - staying only tells them that you are willing to take more.....
Get yourself together and change your life.
If you think this is experience talking - it is. ANYONE that is physically/emotionally abusive doesn't deserve your time or your love. Tell them to shove off !!!
I'm proud of Elizabeth Edwards ! This doesn't just mean for romantic relationships - same sex friendships can be lethal too ! RUN away and slam those doors !
Posted by c horne, a member of the Foothill High School community, on Feb 2, 2010 at 6:42 am
I agree with giving the description of the people. How can a community join together when the biggest piece of the puzzle is with-held? i for one am tired of others from another area comes into pleasanton to commit these crimes and start trouble here. Start putting their pictures around so they fear coming into Pleasanton to start trouble.
Posted by c, a resident of the Another Pleasanton neighborhood neighborhood, on Feb 2, 2010 at 6:48 am
To "Confused"..Just the attitude we don't want in this city. Sounds as if you have 0 respect for this town while the majority,including myself, love and respect it's values. Go back to where you came from if you don't like it here. Sure this town would be better off(if you live here at all)
Posted by Anonymous, a resident of the Another Pleasanton neighborhood neighborhood, on Feb 2, 2010 at 9:38 am
Another voice, its nice to know that your supposed "loved ones" aren't allowed to make a mistake. That you would simply walk away from them in their time of need. I don't condone the abuse, but I also believe in the word LOVE. I would never walk away after one moment of weakness on their part. Do your loved ones know they're not allowed to be human and make a mistake around you? And its nice to finally meet the one person in this entire world that hasn't let emotions get the better of them. Are you claiming to never have shown your rage? Abuse doesn't have to be physical, you know. You have ALWAYS been able to control your rage and impulses? Then you must be a robot.
My advice, think first before you jump up on your pedestal and start judging people. If you're really the robot you claim to be, then don't think you're better than us people that love from the heart. Humans make mistakes and humans forgive. Can someone please translate that into "robot" for another voice ...
Posted by Stacey, a resident of the Amberwood/Wood Meadows neighborhood, on Feb 2, 2010 at 9:52 am Stacey is a member (registered user) of PleasantonWeekly.com
The give and take between couples that you describe, aka LOVE, only occurs in a healthy relationship. The problem is that individuals in an unhealthy relationship have a difficult time distinguishing the difference.
Posted by Anonymous, a resident of the Another Pleasanton neighborhood neighborhood, on Feb 2, 2010 at 10:35 am
I agree it doesn't apply. Men should not "beat the hell" out of women. I'm talking about a couple in a "normal" relationship and one of them makes a terrible mistake and fails to control themselves and puts their hands on the other. After the fact, I don't believe anyone should simply walk away from relationship because of a single act of weakness. Some people have the view, "you should turn on your heel and RUN away - it's the BEST thing - don't EVER let someone have an opportunity to treat you that way again", I was just saying that it isn't that easy (or it shouldn't be assumed its that easy)
I have said it plenty of times, but I'll say it again- I don't think its ok to beat up women. I am just saying that its too easy for people on here to pump their chest out and tell other what they "should" do with their lives, without understanding that they really don't know anything about other peoples relationships.
Posted by Billie, a resident of the Mohr Park neighborhood, on Feb 2, 2010 at 11:17 am
February is national "Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month". For anyone out there, teen or adult, who is in an abusive relationship, please know that there are people willing to help. Locally, the TRI-VALLEY HAVEN is one such organization.
Their CRISIS LINES are 925.449.5842 or 800.884.8119. PLEASE contact them, or any of the other organizations that are out there, if you need help. You don't have to face this alone!
"c", food for thought . . .
I've lived in Pleasanton over 18 years, and while I love this town, it only takes reading a sampling of the threads on this forum to realize that prejudice, vitriol and name-calling are not uncommon - and not only on the politically-themed threads. A quick review of just this thread clearly defines the point I believe "Confused" was making.
For example, "Steve" felt the need to "fill in the blanks" in the description of the assault, because I guess only (non-white?) parolees from Oakland (even though the man arrested in this story was from San Leandro) ever beat up their girlfriends, wives, partners, cab drivers . . . "Steve P", in a later post, seems to take "Steve's" description as fact and not as the "profile" it was noted as being.
"Anonymous" makes some valid points for discussion and certainly makes it a point not to condone any kind of abuse, but is accused by "makes sense" and "Gunslinger" of "being sarcastic or...just insane", "looney".
"c horne" seems to feel that only those from outside Pleasanton cause trouble in our perfect little town. I guess those persons who live in Pleasanton, and have committed hate crimes, arson, pedofilia, assault and slander - in Pleasanton, are figments of our collective imagination.
Perhaps, "c", you might want to re-read "Confused's" remarks. Let's be honest, we do have "some ignorant prejudiced folks in our midst" - just as exists in every other community. And this Forum does seem to draw more than it's share of those posters who seem to think hate-filled commentary is the only kind of comment to post.
I just re-read those values you mentioned that are associated with our little "community of character". I didn't see one that says a resident should be run out of town for expressing an "attitude" you don't agree with. Heck, if that were the case, I'm sure most of us could find more than a few posters throughout this Forum, even on this thread, whose "attitude" and commentary we disagree with. I disagree with you "c", but would never even think of suggesting that this town would be better off if you took your attitude, left town, and went back to wherever you came from.
There is one community value, however, that speaks to "Being considerate: honoring the feelings of others" and "Dealing peacefully with anger, insults, and disagreements" . . . funny thing, that one's called "respect".
Posted by makes sense, a resident of the Another Pleasanton neighborhood neighborhood, on Feb 2, 2010 at 11:37 am
Whether someone has 0 respect for someone else or not, there is an enormous difference between words and physically assaulting that person
so when i read something like this from anonymous"Can a man walk away and take the kids when she "emotionally" abuses him (maybe for one week out of the month...every month) I think the divorce rate wouldn't be so high if people didn't bail on relationships (that they chose to be in) when times get rough." i can't help but think -what a dumb ass!
Not to mention that its so far off the topic as to be ridiculous.
Posted by Anonymous, a resident of the Another Pleasanton neighborhood neighborhood, on Feb 2, 2010 at 12:00 pm
Please "make sense" of this for me. You seem to be so wise. Do you not believe that phycological abuse exists? Or do you not believe that it can hurt someone? I would much rather take a punch in the face than face years of: put-downs or derogatory comments, ridiculing or blaming, witholding affection, spiteful inaction, isolation from family and friends, stalking or checking whereabouts, dominating decision making in the relationship, controlling the partner's money, actual threats... But hey, if I'm a dumb ass for feeling that way, then so be it!
Posted by Stacey, a resident of the Amberwood/Wood Meadows neighborhood, on Feb 2, 2010 at 12:01 pm Stacey is a member (registered user) of PleasantonWeekly.com
I agree with you, but I'm just not interpreting what anyone else here wrote as advocating for walking away for a "single act of weakness". It is those in "abusive" relationships (aka relationships where this activity repeats) that are being encouraged to walk away.
You wrote above: "But if you can get to the root of it and stop the cycle of abuse"
The problem is that people need help to get to the "root of it" and the common mistake made is that the victim doesn't get that help but thinks they can "fix" the other person. It happens to men, but especially so to women because of woman's nurture instincts. I have a friend who was in a 20 year marriage with a guy who was emotionally abusive. They tried the therapy. At which point should she have stopped and walked away? Should victims let it go on for 20 years?
Posted by Anonymous, a resident of the Another Pleasanton neighborhood neighborhood, on Feb 2, 2010 at 2:24 pm
Of course not Stacey. I probably got alittle mixed up. I was just playing devils advocate anyways. Nobody should stick around to be abused. I got hooked when someone said "walk away...easy as that". I was just making a point that, sometimes, it might not be that easy. When someone said "there is an enormous difference between words and physically assaulting that person" I assumed they didn't recognize the other forms of abuse. I shouldn't be hooked so easily.