Fire Drill Layoffs:
Original post made by Mike, Another Pleasanton neighborhood, on Jul 15, 2009
"A fire alarm rang at 4 pm in a large office campus when almost all employees were present ( approx 5,000 people ). As per past fire-drill practices, the entire office was quickly evacuated within 3 minutes, and all employees gathered outside the complex in designated areas waiting for further announcement. Before long, the fire drill officer in-charge made the fo
llowing broadcast over their loud-speakers system:
'My dear colleagues . . . with sincere regret, I have been asked to announce that for many of you, this will be your last evacuation drill with us. Due to the on-going recession and bad business climate, the company is laying off almost 50% of its staff. So when this announcement finishes, I ask all of you to move back into
the building. And if your swipe-card does not work, then it means that you have been laid off, in which case you will not be allowed inside, and all your personal belongings will be couriered to you by tomorrow. The company is using this innovative, never-before approach as we do not want to choke our email system with lay-off notices and farewell messages going by the thousands, and we also wish to avoid any fighting inside the office and the consequent security issues for all staff. We hope you have had a rewarding career with us. Now please move back in… and good luck!'"