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Pleasanton Parent Priorities

Original post made by Dawn, Foothill Knolls, on Jun 18, 2013

Over the last month I have read about local Pleasanton students vandalizing a school library, Senior cut day and finally the fatal accident on Foothill Road involving a Pleasanton student. I am familiar with the children and parents in each of these stories. My impression of the parents is backed up by many of the blog posters...parents with lack of supervision and kids out of control. Does anyone agree that many parents in this town need to go back to basics? Stay home with your kids? Being a stay at home parent does not mean you when your kids are at school you go to breakfast at Sunshine, lunch downtown and Barones on Thursday. Being a stay at home parents means you are HOME for your children! Working parents come home from work and be there for your children. In light of everything that has gone on in the last month I think our town would be well served with a parenting class. Or, parents of out of control teens, try staying home with your kids this summer (if you're a working parent come home from work and leave the the computer at the office), leave the alcohol in the cabinet, resist the urge to invite all your neighbors over and try talking as a family. Maybe you'll see the difference it makes and enjoy raising kids that contribute to society in a positive manner.

Comments (24)

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Posted by anon
a resident of Another Pleasanton neighborhood
on Jun 18, 2013 at 1:19 pm

weel sad Dawn


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Posted by anon
a resident of Another Pleasanton neighborhood
on Jun 18, 2013 at 1:19 pm

oops. Well SAID Dawn.


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Posted by Judy
a resident of Ruby Hill
on Jun 18, 2013 at 1:40 pm

I agree. We also need classes on how people can give up their jobs to stay at home and still live comfortably, make home mortgage payments, and buy groceries. It's quite possible. Instead of spending 2 hours commuting in and out of SF to one's job, simply put together a legible poster with squeegy, and rake in the dough servicing Pleasanton's commuters for 5-6 hours a day during your kid's school hours. My husband tells me the squeegyers make upwards of $500 a day preying on Pleasanton commuters.


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Posted by Sam
a resident of Oak Hill
on Jun 18, 2013 at 3:07 pm

Judy wrote: "I agree. We also need classes on how people can give up their jobs to stay at home and still live comfortably, make home mortgage payments, and buy groceries. "

The rest of us are able to balance work life and home life and raise well-adjusted, responsible children. If you're unable to balance work life with home life then just remember that nobody forced you to have kids.


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Posted by Judy
a resident of Ruby Hill
on Jun 18, 2013 at 3:18 pm

Nobody forced my husband to abandon me and my three kids either. But when you've got an Ozzie and Harriet, Leave It To Beaver mindset, and live in our great diverse city, then I guess Sam's assumptions are understandable. I'd cite some stats on single-parent households, but I'm sure those living in a Leave It To Beaver bubble would still find a way to blame everyone while casting a blind eye to their own shortcomings.

Sam, the collective 'rest of us' you so self righteously invoke. Care to elaborate on who gave you the authority to speak for everyone else?


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Posted by Sam
a resident of Oak Hill
on Jun 18, 2013 at 3:34 pm

Judy wrote: "Nobody forced my husband to abandon me and my three kids either."

Who chose him to be your husband?

You sound like a person who has difficulty accepting responsibility for your own actions. Do you want the rest of us to take care of your kids for you? Do you want the rest of us to choose your next husband for you? Anything else you want us to do because you are unable to take responsibility for your life?


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Posted by Guest
a resident of another community
on Jun 18, 2013 at 5:10 pm

I think another mentality that Pleasanton parents' should address is the "it won't happen to me/my child."


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Posted by Neighbor
a resident of Another Pleasanton neighborhood
on Jun 18, 2013 at 5:41 pm

Sounds to me, Sam, as if someone has a case of the "uppities." May your own sorrows remain unborn.


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Posted by Sam
a resident of Oak Hill
on Jun 18, 2013 at 5:59 pm

Neighbor wrote: "Sounds to me, Sam, as if someone has a case of the "uppities." May your own sorrows remain unborn."

My sorrows aren't self-inflicted. Pity that that distinction seems to be beyond your comprehension.


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Posted by June
a resident of Birdland
on Jun 18, 2013 at 6:30 pm

I agree with Sam. My husband and I both work full time and balance the responsibilty of raising our two children. It's not easy and mistakes are made along the way. We don't have the perfect family or the cleanest home but we know what's going on in our teens lives. We know what's on their social media and we know who their friends are. No amount of cost cutting would enable us to still live in Pleasanton and despite the affluence in this town, we still believe its a great place to raise kids. I don't believe you have to be a non-working parent to be successful at raising kids. It's all about balance. In the families that I have seen "fractured" I can point to there being an imbalance in their lives.


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Posted by Cholo
a resident of Livermore
on Jun 18, 2013 at 9:09 pm

The MAJORITY of Plutonian students are fine individuals. It's not unusual for young folks to be imperfect. NOBODY IS PERFECT. And, the job of students is to learn, challenge authority, understand the limits of living in a civilized society, and to honor their family and country.

Most of the students that I've ever known are neat young people. Growing up is a challenge.

Being a parent is also a major life task. grow up mes petites!




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Posted by Steve
a resident of Parkside
on Jun 18, 2013 at 9:33 pm

Wow, cholo, nice post.


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Posted by Neighbor
a resident of Another Pleasanton neighborhood
on Jun 18, 2013 at 9:51 pm

Sam, I wish you'd get off your high horse. Lots of young single mothers out there, who perhaps didn't get good advice from their parents about keeping/aborting. Other people out there who thought they made a good faith marriage choice but made a bad one, and are now overburdened with child care responsibilities.

I'm sure you've never made any serious mistakes in your life. You've never speeded over the limit, for example. And your kids must be perfect. And if your wife abandoned you it would certainly be your fault because, hey, you made a bad choice and, deep down, you must have been engaging in self-inflicted punishment.

Do you realize how silly you sound? I hear the rugged individualist tea baggers who blame the individual for everything, even he/she who was neglected and perhaps even beaten by his/her parents, or worse, kids who make the bad decision to have bad parents, are looking for new adherents. By the sounds you're making, you'd be a pretty good fit in tea baggerdom.


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Posted by Dear June
a resident of Foothill High School
on Jun 18, 2013 at 10:41 pm

I'm guessing from your strong xFemncomments that you and/or your husband have been fortunate enough to find either an extremely well paid part-time position or a job in Pleasanton itself with barely any commute... otherwise, you must have some secret teleportation skills to balance a full-time job, a lengthy commute, and omnipresent parenting supervision to your well-behaved kids.


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Posted by Sam
a resident of Oak Hill
on Jun 19, 2013 at 12:15 am

Neighbor wrote: "I'm sure you've never made any serious mistakes in your life. You've never speeded over the limit, for example. And your kids must be perfect. And if your wife abandoned you it would certainly be your fault because, hey, you made a bad choice and, deep down, you must have been engaging in self-inflicted punishment."

Yeah, I guess you're right. Taking responsibility for one's own mistakes really stinks.


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Posted by Point Made
a resident of Parkside
on Jun 19, 2013 at 5:33 am

Neighbor, if you think driving a little over the speed limit is a "serious life mistake," then you've pretty much told us that you haven't been in touch with reality for some time. Sounds like the OP nailed this one.


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Posted by john
a resident of Another Pleasanton neighborhood
on Jun 19, 2013 at 7:53 am

Sure, Sam. If your husband beats you, you have no one to blame but your self. You shouldn't have picked the kind of husband who beats you. Makes a lot of sense.


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Posted by Sam
a resident of Oak Hill
on Jun 19, 2013 at 8:16 am

John wrote: "Sure, Sam. If your husband beats you, you have no one to blame but your self. You shouldn't have picked the kind of husband who beats you. Makes a lot of sense."

I wouldn't say that the wife is to blame in all cases because people's characters, including husbands, do evolve over time. But I've known too many cases when it was all too obvious to everyone - with the exception of the star-smitten soon-to-be-wife - that the prospective husband was a bad apple. If you aren't aware of such cases you need to get out and see more of the world. Lots of people stumble through life making one bad life choice after another.


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Posted by Neighbor
a resident of Another Pleasanton neighborhood
on Jun 19, 2013 at 9:46 am

More self righteousness from Sam. Sam doesn't make bad choices like others do, because he's smart unlike the dumb ones who don't have his intelligence ... or who were beaten and abused as kids, or who had alcoholic parents, or who are addicted to alcohol/drugs themselves, or who are fighting depression as an everyday malady, made more severe by holding two jobs to keep the house.

Sounds to me like Sam doesn't get out very much. Or perhaps he watches too much t.v. He seems oblivious to the kinds of struggles people conduct on a day to day basis, and how the deck is oftentimes stacked -- economically, educationally, biologically -- such that the struggles are lost more than won.

Fact is, Sam doesn't know the circumstances of the families whose kids apparently pooped on the library computers. He's basing his judgments upon hearsay, and then combines that with an overwrought self righteousness. Wow. Pleasanton, meet the new Ms. Prude.


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Posted by liberalism is a disease
a resident of Birdland
on Jun 19, 2013 at 6:51 pm

liberalism is a disease is a registered user.

Sam, when did you stop beating your wife?


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Posted by liberalism is a disease
a resident of Birdland
on Jun 19, 2013 at 6:57 pm

liberalism is a disease is a registered user.

Neighbor, we have to keep in mind that Sam moved here recently and has no clue as to what real life is like in this neck of the woods (or maybe anywhere else, for that matter).
Recently, in lieu of gainful employment, Sam has been stalking foothill road looking for youthful offenders that he could publicly flog. Please spare him any criticism, since his motives are altruistic and above reproach and any criticism.


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Posted by I hate to say this, but.....
a resident of Apperson Ridge
on Jun 25, 2013 at 11:05 pm

First off, let me start by saying I'm white. Now let me go into my thought - is this a more of a white problem? I've been observing at parties, company events, school events, extracurricular activities, etc. I feel like more white parents tend to drink, tend to display behaviors in front of their children that encourage attitudes which are not focused on school or improving themselves.

I know I'm going to get blasted, but I had to say it. Sometimes I feel as though more white parents allow their children to behave poorly and use the excuse of "they are just kids".


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Posted by living in Pleasantopia...
a resident of Another Pleasanton neighborhood
on Jun 26, 2013 at 8:53 am

WE are the biggest influence and example to our children.

I have spent the last 20 years raising our children here and have only witnessed MORE AND MORE parents drinking heavily at the so called 'kids' banquets and parties. Bringing margarita machines the taking off in the car with the kids in it...what example is that?

I have been cut off by parents in front of FHS many times just trying to drop off my kids.

How do we expect our kids to act if we are acting just like them?

I think many on this post hit it....it's a real problem here and it needs to be addressed starting within the home. Put the alcohol down and visit with your kids instead of pouring yourself a glass from that $50 bottle of wine and find out what they are up to. Who cares if they don't want to visit ...make them. YOU are the parent...so PARENT!!


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Posted by Parent
a resident of Del Prado
on Jun 26, 2013 at 3:32 pm

I hate to say this....you are spot on! It is the white parents who are the biggest drinkers/ partiers in this town. When swim team parents are drinking from red cups at nine in the morning- there is something wrong. Fast forward a few years and they wonder why their kids are drinking out of control in high school. The self proclaimed 'cool parents' are raising kids to think sporting events equate to a parents drink fest. Word of warning- your kids are watching all you do and say and aren't nearly as impressed with your Ptown popularity as you are. In fact I know many of them think it is rather embarrassing!


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