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New Pope Decides to Melt All the Gold in Vatican: Promises to Distribute to Poor Women Who Haven't Had Abortions

Original post made by Chris, Another Pleasanton neighborhood, on Mar 14, 2013

Back in 2005, Bergoglio drew high marks as an accomplished intellectual, having studied theology in Germany. His leading role during the Argentine economic crisis burnished his reputation as a voice of conscience, and made him a potent symbol of the costs globalization can impose on the world's poor.

Bergoglio's reputation for personal simplicity also exercised an undeniable appeal – a Prince of the Church who chose to live in a simple apartment rather than the archbishop's palace, who gave up his chauffeured limousine in favor of taking the bus to work, and who cooked his own meals.

Now, earlier today, he announced that he intended to have all the gold in the Vatican melted down and distributed among poor heterosexual women in the Church who have heterosexual children and have never had abortions.

Some expressed concern that the Vatican, without its gold, is like Van Gogh's "Sunflowers" in black and white. "Is there a single material item in the Vatican that is not forged out of gold?" asked one dumbfounded worshipper? And ask another: "Where will all the poor people's donations to the Church go if not toward gold and sexual predation lawsuits?"

Comments (10)

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Posted by Cholo
a resident of Livermore
on Mar 14, 2013 at 9:55 am

I think that it's wonderful that so many survivor's of sexual abuse by priests and nuns have won their cases and received settlements. VIVA!

Protect the innocent!


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Posted by Cholo
a resident of Livermore
on Mar 14, 2013 at 10:25 am

Billions of people cook for themselves. what's the big deal about riding a bus...duh

He's not likely to be much different that Pope Benedict. I don't understand the excitement about electing another Pope? I've always believed that a pope is a troublemaker...


 +   Like this comment
Posted by Cholo
a resident of Livermore
on Mar 14, 2013 at 10:35 am

Pope Francis during the DIRTY WAR in Argentina:

Web Link


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Posted by Christopher
a resident of Birdland
on Mar 14, 2013 at 2:03 pm

I don't know, but I've been told, the streets of heaven are lined with gold. Signed, Pope ... FILL IN ANY NAME HERE


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Posted by Cholo
a resident of Livermore
on Mar 14, 2013 at 3:11 pm

Jacobo Timmerman: Web Link

Mr. Timmerman was a great Argentine patriot and freedom fighter. He was tortured by the Argentine military during the Dirty War.
Bergoglio (Pope Francis I), kept his mouth shut and publicly sided with the generals. This resulted in the torture and murder of thousands of Jews in Argentina.


 +   Like this comment
Posted by Cholo
a resident of Livermore
on Mar 14, 2013 at 3:38 pm

Pope Francis I responsible for the deaths of Argentine patriots: Web Link


 +   Like this comment
Posted by Cholo
a resident of Livermore
on Mar 14, 2013 at 3:49 pm

TIME: Web Link

The history of Argentina is painful. I will not post any more on this topic.


 +   Like this comment
Posted by Cholo
a resident of Livermore
on Mar 16, 2013 at 4:08 pm

To his credit, Pope Francis has shown respect toward Jews:

Web Link


 +   Like this comment
Posted by Cholo
a resident of Livermore
on Mar 19, 2013 at 10:35 am

Washington Post: Web Link

Silent re: sex abuse of Argentinian children, Bergogolio mostly silent.


 +   Like this comment
Posted by Cholo
a resident of Livermore
on Mar 19, 2013 at 11:49 am

Crimes committed by the Vatican: Web Link


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