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Getting along

Original post made by MOTHER OF 4 on Jul 19, 2012

A number of my neighbors were talking the other day during a neighborhood garage sale, why we just can't all get along. I mean, it's true that our area has become more and more intruded upon people that don't share our historic "Pleasanton values". My husband said this is the natural extension of growth in our community. But, honestly, I just think we can all get along. All of my neighbors felt that if we spent more time seeing the good in others, then things would be better. What do you think? I am open to discussion on this matter. I want to thank everyone who came by to buy something at our garage sale. It was a complete success.

Comments (34)

Posted by ccwc, a resident of Jensen Tract
on Jul 19, 2012 at 8:11 am

We too did the Neighborhood Garage Sale - in Jensen Tract - I had this discussion with a woman who lived in another neighborhood and none of her neighbors got along. I am fortunate here - many of the people on my street - were here when I was younger - long term people. We all get along and take care of one another - thanks in large part to our Neighborhood Watch I think and for knowing each other for many, many years. I agree - can't we all just get along!

Posted by Tom, a resident of Country Fair
on Jul 19, 2012 at 8:39 am

Count your Blessings that you had a good garage sale. We often have a block neighborhood garage sale but we have one grouchy young man who must have a mental problem. If anyone parks even close to his drive way, the man comes completely apart. He starts to cuss people out and informs them that they can't park there. He is so nasty that it darkens the mood of people having the garage sales. He even puts his garbage cans out on the street and puts ' No Parking " signs on them.

He stands behind his gate waiting for anyone to park close to his house.I used to take him food on Holidays or whenever I baked ,i would share with him. But , no longer ,as he flipped me the bird when we were having one of our sales. To this day, I no longer consider him a friend muchless a nice neighbor. He gets very upset and loud
at people. However, he does attend the August Good Guy Show here in Pleasanton, so on that Saturday, we are planning on a sale as we know he will be attending at 7 A.M. on Saturday August 25th,2012, he calls this the only vacation he takes. How sad that we have to walk on egg shells because of such a grouch. Consider yourselves very lucky that you don't have to put up with this NUT CAKE !!!!

Posted by common sense, a resident of Pleasanton Heights
on Jul 19, 2012 at 9:04 am

There are too few people with the common sense or courtesy to know how be really be good neighbors.
Illegal or inconsiderate parking can be a huge problem. During neighborhood garage sales I have had people park IN my driveway, as well as across it blocking me from getting in or out. They yell at me if I ask them to move. When my neighbors moved in they allowed the moving truck to completely block my driveway, without ever telling me. I was prevented from getting out for the entire day and had to cancel all of my appointments. Off to a real bad start there as neighbors. Others think that a barking dog is not an annoyance. Or kids with late night parties. One guy put in outdoor speakers and pointed them at my house, now he plays music late every night. Then there is the woman so concerned about her security that she has spotlights that are on all night every night, and they shine directly into my bedroom.
This angry Birdland neighbor sounds a bit over the top. However, if people would just stop and THINK about how what they are doing will affect their neighbors most ill will could be prevented.

Posted by Likes my neighbors, a resident of Mohr Park
on Jul 19, 2012 at 9:08 am

In the 20 years we've been here, we have had both long-term neighbors and neighbors who move in and out. The house next door is a rental, so we've had 10+ different neighbors through there. We've gotten to be close to some, and just aquatances with others, but defininately enjoy the multi-cultural aspect our street has developed. One thing we all have in common, we moved to Pleasanton to give our children opportunities to have a good education and safe area to grow up - a bonus is the acceptance of others beliefs, culture, and lifestyle. Yes, there's been occasional friction, but that is usually when neighbors don't get to know and communicate to one another - just assuming or viewing an infringement on "their" property rights. For "Tom" above - have you ever gently, without accusation ever approached your neighbor and asked him what the problem is, or maybe include him in the planning? You are probably right that the weekend of the Goodguys is the best for him.

Posted by Chris, a resident of Kottinger Ranch
on Jul 19, 2012 at 9:34 am

Mother of 4- pretty funny! You ask why all of us can't get along and then you slap us upside the head as "intruders". As usual, Pleasanton residents think they are held in higher esteem with their "values". The values you are projecting are not values that I would be proud to have.

Posted by The Mayoress of Swankville, a resident of Birdland
on Jul 19, 2012 at 12:55 pm

I don't know why some ICONOCLASTS think its okay not to sign their kids up for lots of activities. Why is it wrong that my child is #1? Could it be that you're ashamed of your own kids not being #1 at everything? I just don't understand why my one-upmanship doesn't appeal to some OUTSIDERS who haven't lived here as long. People need to learn that they must CONFORM to the expectations of the commune. PRIVATE ownership means the burden is on you to be what neighbors expect you to be and that you act just like them. It is this DIVERSITY in our exceedingly DIVERSE city that makes it such a great place to live.

Posted by Tango , a resident of Vineyard Avenue
on Jul 19, 2012 at 3:50 pm

We have been hear 37 years and most of out neighbors have been great. The street that we live on is a dead end street. There are 11 houses on the street and 4 out of the 11 are 37 yr owners. As the neighbor hood changed it has been wonderful to learn about our new neighbors. Some years ago we had a neighbor who thought it was his job to run all our lives. He was constantly calling the police over thing he perceived to be a crime. He had an alcohol problem and did finely move. Then is when we learned how bad the inside of his house was. He had a blind dog and a cat or 2 and they were not let outside so they used the whole house as a bathroom. When he sold we were so happy we almost had a party. The people who bought the house had to be completely gut to the 1st floor foundation and start over. There are good neighbors and bad neighbors . Right now we are a great bunch. LOVE MY NEIGHBORS!

Posted by steven, a resident of Stoneridge
on Jul 19, 2012 at 4:02 pm

We used to have a good nieghborhood. BART went in and then a couple of Democrats moved in. There very diseased and there kids think they are better then mine because there jealous. I cannot understand how people want to chain the brains to the feet of the master, his holyness Obama.

Posted by Steve, a resident of Parkside
on Jul 19, 2012 at 6:19 pm

Chris, about your values, or lack thereof, try Dublin or Livermore....or maybe berserkely.
Really.....if you consider yourself an intruder, then move on. We have higher standards, whereas you do not. You can criticize your neighbors or get the hell out.

Posted by Mike, a resident of Highland Oaks
on Jul 19, 2012 at 8:15 pm

Boundaries are important.


Posted by Betsee, a resident of Downtown
on Jul 19, 2012 at 9:37 pm

Expect me to get along with my lunatic neighbor? the female dog that got me fired from my job? sorry-

Posted by Daniel Bradford, a resident of Foothill High School
on Jul 19, 2012 at 10:28 pm

"I mean, it's true that our area has become more and more intruded upon people that don't share our historic "Pleasanton values"."

You just answered your own question. Your idea of "getting along" is for the newcomers to adapt to you, as if they were "intruding" in "your" town.

Pleasanton belongs to the people who live and work in the city, whether they are homeowners or renters, whether they arrived last week or are sixth generation descendants.

If you can't accept that, and learn to live with it, then you won't be able to "get along".

Posted by Nate, a resident of Golden Eagle
on Jul 20, 2012 at 1:00 am

I'm going to say it. I know I'm not the only one that thinks it. Some of our newer residents lack appropriate manners and are rude. And yes, it's a culture thing. If you're honest, you'll admit a nationality difference between yourself and 9 of 10 people that cut you off. You'll notice a difference in the same when someone invades your personal space zone when at a store or anywhere else. You'll see the same when the lady in front if you has 25 items in a quick check and pretends not to know. These are the people with ten or more people living in a dwelling meant for four. They are the same ones that will often bump you with their cart or push you aside if they want something even if you were there first. Why come here if you want to live as you did before? Do you want to just take from the US, but do nothing to become a productive member if society or even your neighborhood?

By the way, my multicultural neighbor moved in about six months ago and twice I have caught him video taping my two teenage girls who were in MY front yard. I tried to explain that this was not acceptable here, and he pretended not to understand a word of English.

And by the way, if someone wants to come here they need to leave English first. It's so expensive for government Agencies, utilities, hospitals, private business provide translation services. It should be that you cannot come unless you can speak basic English and no translation services are required but can be paid by the person.

Okay, I will get off my soapbox now.

Posted by ccwc, a resident of Jensen Tract
on Jul 20, 2012 at 8:12 am

Regarding the neighbor who puts his garbage cans out with No Parking signs on them on your garage sale day and yells at people and flips you the bird. You need to call the police. He cannot 'harrass' you or your 'customers' and it is illegal for him to put No Parking signs on a public street.

Posted by Melissa, a resident of Stoneridge
on Jul 20, 2012 at 8:17 am

Steven: If you can't spell NEIGHBORHOOD correctly, don't bash your NEIGHBORS - spend some time educating yourself instead. There's a difference between there, their, they're. Learn it.

Posted by Nurse Shark, a resident of Bridle Creek
on Jul 20, 2012 at 8:34 am

Whoa! Looks like Melissa has put up a "No Misspelling" sign and flipped Steven the bird. ccwc, call the police! Looks like someone needs to try harder to be a good neighbor to Steve.

Posted by Mae, a resident of Del Prado
on Jul 20, 2012 at 8:54 am

Melissa, it looks like a typing mistake that Steve did and don't see the reason to make a big deal about his spelling...Get a life!!

Posted by Colette, a resident of Del Prado
on Jul 20, 2012 at 9:16 am

Nate, you really stuck your neck out with that one, but I agree wholeheartedly. I am so frustrated at the way we are no longer a melting pot, but rather a "salad bar". It has become increasingly evident that many people from other countries who are coming to America for the wonderful opportunities we have here, do not want to assimilate to their new home, but rather choose to live just as they lived in the culture they left. I believe preserving your heritage and culture is extremely important, but I believe assimilating into the culture you have chosen to live is important too! We should not all live with a salad bar mentality (keeping every item separate from each other), but rather have the desire for everyone to meld takes an effort on everyone's part. I certainly love to learn about other people's culture when they show an interest in learning about mine! Not so much when "the neighbor" wants nothing to do with our American culture or any "Americans" living around them. (my use of "Americans" refers to people of any nationality who desire to be part of the whole community, not just a specific culture.)

Posted by liberalism is a disease, a resident of Birdland
on Jul 20, 2012 at 9:28 am

liberalism is a disease is a registered user.

Here, here, Nate. Thanks for courageously stating what many of our residents believe, despite the vocal minority that pretends to be tolerant of all offenses that impact others, but not them (yet).

I'm disgusted by the elitists who want to dictate how we should live and how we should forego our quality of life for others that are migrating here, wither voluntarily of through the coercion of appointees of govt agencies (ABAG). Yet, they'd never consider breaking up communities like Chinatown, Little Saigon, or Tijuana North becasue of their exclusiveness or insulated cultures. The left's double standards and hypocrisy are so predictable and thoughtless.

Posted by Foothill Mom, a resident of Parkside
on Jul 20, 2012 at 9:51 am

Love all of my neighbors~ Watching all of our children grow
up thru Elementary, Jr High, High School and now College has been a wonderful experience. An amazing group of children and young adults the whole community can be proud of. Thank you PMS & Foothill Teachers! Our neighbors watch out for each other and have developed deep friendships. Pleasanton has been a wonderful place to live and we will never leave.

Posted by Tom, a resident of Country Fair
on Jul 20, 2012 at 10:17 am

Looks like we are getting carried away from our topic. Getting along
is very hard to do.We are only human but this is not the excuse that we should use in our daily lives. I'm not saying that I'm holier than thou, by no means, I too am guilty of not being nice. However, when you lose Respect for a neighbor that in itself is not a good thing.My evil tempered neighbor who I considered a friend has a definite problem.Every Saturday he is out dressed in hip rubber boots and old torn jeans raking the dirt around his front yard, he gets into a mood to the point he gets " Beet Red " in the face and he is applying his anger to Mother Earth. The poor thing is going to have a massive heart attack one of these days. He looks for what he thinks are the bad things people do and he punishes those around him. I've gotten to the point that I just ignore and shake my head at his daily undertakings.The guy needs mental help but does not see him self needing love and caring people. I try to be considerate of him but watching him day after day destroying himself and making it difficult for his neighbors and the entire neighborhood. You can bring the horse to water, but you can't make him drink. Best to fully ingnore
the poor soul.Hope I'm not around when he hangs himself. After being friends for over eleven years we've lost that consideration and respect orver a damn garage sale. How very sad !!! For Him and for me.

Posted by If I'm going to generalize, a resident of Another Pleasanton neighborhood
on Jul 20, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Well since Nate stared generalizing,I'm going to as well. For the most part, foreigners that move to Pleasanton are working hard and do not accept excuses from their children when they do not act appropriately in school. Take a look at our GATE classes and you will see that it is a mix of culture. So Nate, your argument of learning English and other racial generalizations is not accurate.

Furthermore, as someone who is involved in our schools, it is often the parents with "Pleasanton" values that cause the most difficulty. The average family is amazing and dedicated to their children. But the families with the children who are the most difficult tend to come from wealthy families, who have a "this town serves me" attitude.

Guess I stuck my neck out as well.

Posted by Neighbor, a resident of Another Pleasanton neighborhood
on Jul 20, 2012 at 1:36 pm

To Nate,
I'm going to say it. I can't figure out if you're writing a comedy satire like "The Colbert Report" or if you are serious. "And yes, it's a culture thing. If you're honest, you'll admit a nationality difference between yourself and 9 of 10 people that cut you off." Where do you drive? most of the people who cut me off look like they live in Danville or Pleasanton. It sounds as if your life is an onslaught of hardships. If you are the victim of so may petty insults, the common thread is you - you are are the cause of the insults.

My family has lived internationally (born and bred in the Midwest and California, descended from the US revolution). Overseas the US is viewed as a rich and free country, and admired. But people from the US are mocked as insular, ignorant, prudish, uneducated. Your messages in this thread help support these prejudices. How many languages can you speak, or countries have you visited? In other words, what do you know about multiculturalism?

We should get together sometime over a drink to discuss these topics.

Posted by chris, a resident of Kottinger Ranch
on Jul 20, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Steve.......please note there was no reason to slam me and tell me to move. My comment was related to the fact that this mother of 4 asks why we all can't get along and then promptly smacks us upside the head when she calls us intruders.

Additionally, Nate.......the people that are discourteous in the express lane at the grocery are not just people of color and democrats. Every discussion on here comes back to these 2 things every time. Get over it and move to the midwest if you like everyone white, rich and republican.

Need I say more about living in this "fabulous" city. Yes, that is sarcasm speaking as Pleasanton is anything but!

Posted by Tango , a resident of Vineyard Avenue
on Jul 20, 2012 at 11:48 pm

We have four couples in our neighborhood that represent eight ethnic groups. They are Swedish and Surie Lankin(sp?). Chinese and Japanese, Mexican and East Indian. British and South African. ALL of them are great neighbors.

Posted by Another neighbor, a resident of Another Pleasanton neighborhood
on Jul 21, 2012 at 5:05 pm

Nate, Your new neighbors have kids that are smarter than yours, take your jobs because they are better, and can speak at least one foreign language. And they are in front of you at the grocery store. Who is better for the city and country? What are these Pleasanton values you talk about?

Posted by Kristie, a resident of Another Pleasanton neighborhood
on Jul 22, 2012 at 2:59 am

I was really nervous about moving here from the midwest, because of the traffic and fast pace of life. "Everybody's always moving from one place to another! They never want to make new friends! They work long hours and don't have any time to help each other out!" That's what they told me about sunny California.

And yet I've found that "good fences make good neighbors" just like in the midwest and the northeast. Maybe we have been lucky with the neighbors in our court (and even behind us on the next street.) We needed to redo our backyard fence, and we share property lines with 5 different houses. I was really nervous about making our neighbors angry. The owners and tenants come from *all* *over* the world, and we took the time to talk about it with all the neighbors before we started work on the fence. Out of the 5, 4 helped to pay for the part of the fence that they shared with us. (With the tenants, it was the landlords who paid, and I was really surprised at that! I thought the "greedy" real estate management companies would resist, but I was wrong.)

Sometimes neighbors can be a little mentally unstable, no matter where they come from. (We had some like that in the midwest too, but most of them had lived in their houses way, way longer than us. I could tell you stories about crochety old ladies!) That's no fun. But when new folks move into your neighborhood, please do what you can to welcome them.

Remember those old-fashioned values about taking a new neighbor some cookies, or some oranges from the tree in your backyard? (That's not just a midwestern thing, is it? In the midwest we were always trying to get rid of zucchini and beans, but here it's oranges and lemons.)

If you reach out to newcomers before you have had any problems, then you may be pleasantly surprised how much easier it is to talk with them reasonably if something comes up later that's a point of tension.

Posted by steven, a resident of Stoneridge
on Jul 22, 2012 at 8:04 am

This is a cowcasion country founded by cowcasion people. Now cowcasions are last in line for schools, jobs, and groceries. Trouble is all the liberal attitude says its okay for ethnics to come over hear and get put in line before us. But its all a plot by liberals. What is it about the liberal attitude that makes it okay for them to cut me off on the highway and stop cowcasion kids like mine from going to Standford.? Its a disease. Liberalism. (See how many Suree Lankens are doing the US proud in the olympics. Its all cowcasions that do the heavy work. I rest my point.)

Posted by This is hilarious, a resident of Stoneridge
on Aug 4, 2012 at 6:51 pm

Steven, this whole thread would be hilarious if it weren't so sad. So its the Democrats and liberals who cause all the problems? All of them? Across the board?

Well, I have news for you. Perhaps you should consider that the real root of the problem and the lack of being able to get along is your elitism and holier than thou attitude, sense of entitlement and exculsivity that causes the mass majority of issues around the neighborhood and in America in general. Perhaps if you took some time to realize that you really aren't better than anyone else, you would find that its easier to get along with others. But I guess you really can't see it since you are obviously one of those awesome, smart, "christian," COWcasions.

Posted by Honestly, a resident of Another Pleasanton neighborhood
on Aug 4, 2012 at 9:47 pm

Steven is a union troll trying to get a rise out of people who have an "image" in their head about republicans. You are on the same side. Sigh . . .

Posted by Observer, a resident of Another Pleasanton neighborhood
on Aug 4, 2012 at 10:33 pm

To This is hilarious, Are you new to this site? You DO know, or can't you TELL, Steven, is a farse and pretender, He tries to write dumb, and throw in words that are suppose to lead you to believe he's a right winger. WRONG. In fact he's very left. He WANTS to appear dumb and mean, etc.
Just another form of dirty politics, That's a tactic when you can't win with ideas, try games. Usually most try to ignore him and the others that try the same stupidity. They're really easy to spot, once you see through their lack of depth. So childish and pathetic.

Posted by steven, a resident of Stoneridge
on Aug 5, 2012 at 8:52 am

Honestly and Observer are both union paid trolls to descredit honest white middle class people like most of us are admit it.

Unable to deal with real ideas, there tacktic is to call other posers trolls that should'nt be listened too. Do either Honestly or Observer offer anything but charecter assesination? See what I mean?

And Hilariess, what about you? You assume I'm Christian just because your a liberal thats' on the same side as all the other GODless liberal loons and trolls that domenate the forum. Your as hilariess as Hilary the sumbmissive secratary. Go take your unfoundered opinions some place else.

Posted by Cholo, a resident of Livermore
on Aug 18, 2012 at 12:54 pm

can we all get along...signed, thievee

Posted by Cholo, a resident of Livermore
on Aug 18, 2012 at 12:58 pm

i must agree with Observer that theevee is a hairless wimp...yup, a wimp that's balding!

theevee is not christian, he's Catholic...

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