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Should Fathers Day be Celebrated in School

Original post made by Ptown Dad, Bonde Ranch, on Jun 10, 2009

I was always curious how our schools handle Fathers Day. I've had my son bring home things he made in school for the occasion for me. It made me wonder what the instructors do for those who never had a Dad in their life, or who no longer have a father active in their life. I have this image of a sad boy sitting there wondering what to write on his project.

Comments (13)

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Posted by Wondering
a resident of California Reflections
on Jun 10, 2009 at 6:59 pm

Ptown Dad: sounds like you are trying to get a thread going about Heather has two daddies or two mommies maybe???


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Posted by Pleasanton resident
a resident of Another Pleasanton neighborhood
on Jun 10, 2009 at 8:07 pm

It can be sad for those kids who don't have a dad but then that's not a reason not to celebrate Father's Day. I'm glad they do.

I did not have a father growing up so I know how it can feel to be one of those kids 'wondering what to do'. Yet, kids need to be taught (and shown) what real fatherhood is all about.


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Posted by Laura
a resident of Another Pleasanton neighborhood
on Jun 10, 2009 at 8:18 pm

There are sad kids singing Father's Day songs at assemblies and going to rehearsals for these songs with the other kids. I know kids who's father died recently who went through this at Alisal.


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Posted by C'mon
a resident of Another Pleasanton neighborhood
on Jun 10, 2009 at 8:59 pm

All kids should learn nature's intention...


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Posted by Me Too
a resident of Canyon Creek
on Jun 10, 2009 at 9:32 pm

We seem to want to go through life with never making anyone sad or offending anyone. Let's make everything sterile and make sure no child has any feelings. Yes, people who have lost there father should feel sad because its a horrible thing, but maybe its more horrible if they are never asked to remember they had a father. For those that never had a dad, its a chance to learn about other "cultures".


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Posted by Taylor
a resident of California Reflections
on Jun 10, 2009 at 10:48 pm

I have had 2 kids go through the Pleasanton Schools and it is always handled gently. The teachers have all seemed to go out of their way to make the children with absent or deceased parents feel like part of the celebration whether it be to invite another adult such as a grandfather, uncle or family friend in place of the parent. I think they are all given the opportunity to abstain as well and spend the time in another classroom or the library. I do agree with Me Too in that we cannot ignore the needs of many to cater to the needs of few and cancel these events. We just need to understand the needs of particular children who may have been dealt some of life's blows at an early age and not add to their troubles.


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Posted by TI
a resident of Another Pleasanton neighborhood
on Jun 11, 2009 at 8:50 am

With three boys all almost out of elementary school, I have had the same experience as "Taylor".
One year, one of my child's classmates invited a very popular, elderly, crosswalk gentleman to go with him as his guest. Later I got a chance to speak with the gentleman. I asked him how everything had gone for him. He was beaming. He said that his two grandchildren lived out of the state and that he had never been able to attend any of their school functions. He felt honored to be asked to go as a "special" guest.


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Posted by Julie
a resident of Another Pleasanton neighborhood
on Jun 11, 2009 at 11:16 am

Julie is a registered user.

I agree with those who feel that you can't always include everyone all the time. You can always be sensitive to feelings. Father's Day activities can include other men. I love the crosswalk guard story!

When we first moved to P-Town my daughter was in 2nd grade and they did a "Grandparents Day" during which they performed a square dance. It stung a little for us as we were adjusting to no longer being 10 minutes away from grandparents, but we survived. My husband and I went instead. I never would have expected them not to do it simply because everyone couldn't have a grandparent there. It actually opened up discussion for us regarding how we all felt about the grandparents being too far away to attend.


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Posted by Resident
a resident of Another Pleasanton neighborhood
on Jun 11, 2009 at 12:32 pm

The problem with such celebrations is that instead of learning, the children waste a day. Now the unions are fighting hard not to end the school year early, but if you think about it, there are many days when the kids are not in school learning, but celebrating grandparents' day, etc.

My kids have a mom, dad, grandparents, so the issue for me is not that my kids feel left out. My concern is for the kids who do not have the support system others do. Yes, you cannot be politically correct all the time, but what are schools for? To teach the kids how to read, write, etc, or to celebrate grandparents' day?

End the school year early: that will solve a budget issue, and all we need to do is stop the nonsense stuff at school, and concentrate on teaching the children when in school.


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Posted by rt?
a resident of Grey Eagle Estates
on Jun 11, 2009 at 2:05 pm

I think it's ok in every way to do something with and for parents on Mother's and Father's day, as long as it's maybe 3rd grade or younger. After that keep them on track with a regular ciriculum. If they did something for everthing the kids would all just be Halmark card writters with all the holidays.


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Posted by Dana
a resident of Another Pleasanton neighborhood
on Jun 11, 2009 at 4:55 pm

Most children who have had a parent that died does not want to be separated from their classmates and go sit alone in the library while their friends are together learning Father's Day songs. They feel different enough already.
What's good for the goose is good for the gander. A person who's child has recently died should sit with all the other parents on Graduation Day at their (deceased) child's school. They should participate, smile, applaud and sing special songs about all the graduating children WITHOUT crying. No child wants to cry in front of all the kids at their school, so they sing up on stage with the other kids stoically, I've seen it.
It'd be interesting to see if a parent of a recently deceased child could pull that off. Go to the graduation celebration of your dead child's friends and NO CRYING.
After all, that's life.


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Posted by Get Educated
a resident of Another Pleasanton neighborhood
on Jun 11, 2009 at 11:45 pm

Resident - "End the school year early: that will solve a budget issue, and all we need to do is stop the nonsense stuff at school, and concentrate on teaching the children when in school."

I certainly don't think a hand written poem, a song, or an event expressing a child's feeling s towards their family member is ever a waste of time. Check the state standards for how many are covered through this type of activity.

Communication is taught not only in the home, but every day in the classroom. Instead of creating false situations to express emotions (workbooks), why not apply the lesson to real life?




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Posted by Figure it out people
a resident of Another Pleasanton neighborhood
on Jun 12, 2009 at 12:09 am

This is simple, do I have to tell you people ALL the right answers?

Okay, one last time and then you need to do the work.

As with most activities in the school, they should be optional. Here's a clue: How about a kid that is sexually abused and you want that child to make a craft for their parent. How messed up is that? School is their safe-haven and you've screwed it up for them.

Why not have a center time where a child can opt to make something for Ma or Pa and if not, who cares. Give the kid the choice to participate or not. Who knows, the kid might have left his bike out the night before and got an ear full the morning you ask little Joey to make a mug for Pop. I don't think it should be an all or nothing. If a kids wants to do it, do it. Better yet, make it an activity during a recess time. You can choose to play outside, or make a craft. Now there's giving a kid a real choice!


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