Mothers & More Mothers & More (December 06, 2002)

Career women adjust to life after baby
by Sharael Feist

Like many mothers these days, new mom Lynn Gunney struggles with whether or not to give up her career to be a stay-at-home mom. Luckily there is a support network for working moms in the Tri-Valley area that can help make the decision easier.

The group is called Mothers & More, which is made up of moms who are either currently working or were former career women turned full-time moms. It is different from traditional mothers groups, which focus solely on motherhood and don't touch upon career dilemmas.

"I find that I have more in common with former career moms," said Gunney. "Adjusting to the role of mother involves identity issues. It's great to have the opportunity to talk with women who are going through a similar situation."

Gunney, a marketing maven with a 6-month-old son, Annam, has only been to a couple of the Mothers & More meetings, but has already benefited from the childcare service referral and the social interaction.

"It's nice to hand the baby to my husband and go and chat with other women - it's good to get out of the house and do something for yourself."

Gunney wishes the club offered sub-groups for children of similar ages, but other than that, she says she likes what the club has to offer.

The Tri-Valley chapter of Mothers & More was founded by Michelle Rudd and Karen Glaesemann, who were two working mothers in need of camaraderie.

"Every woman has that loss of self when she becomes a mother and struggles with whether or not to return to work," said Rudd, the mother of a 3-year-old daughter, Susannah. "It's good to have other women to talk to that are going through the same conundrum and realize that you're not alone. We can help women find out what works for them."

The club meets twice a month - the first meeting is social and the second meeting covers a topic, such as saving for college, choosing a preschool or Web sites for moms. These meetings are for moms only - kids stay at home (unless the mother is breastfeeding).

The group also gets together for more festive outings like mom's night out, which normally includes dinner or a movie, tot outings to kid-friendly locations, family outings, like trips to the zoo, and playgroups for the children.

Most Mothers & More members are former career women who have decided not to return to work upon becoming a mother. Some made the decision because it didn't make sense financially.

"Most of the women have found that the money they would make by going back to work would be spent on childcare, commuting, dry cleaning and convenience meals," said Rudd.

The group does, however, offer ideas on how to go back to work, if that is what a member chooses to do.

Mothers & More has more than 180 chapters nationwide, and at the national headquarters the members are involved in advocating working mothers' rights, such as proportional pay and advancement for part-time work.

Pleasanton resident Laura Molnar, a new member, finds Mothers & More appealing because of the advocacy of the organization, the professionalism of the women, the small size of the group and the community involvement.

"The local chapter is small, so I don't feel like I get lost in the crowd," said Molnar. "Yet there are 8,000 members nationwide for support."

Molnar, a former GAP administrative assistant, gave up her beloved career to become a mother of two and now enjoys doing volunteer work in her free time. Perhaps she will be able to offer women like Lynn Gunney advice on how to juggle both a career and motherhood or how to make the transition from working woman to super mom.

Mothers & More currently meets the first Thursday at 7:30 p.m. at the Barnes and Nobles' Starbucks at Hacienda Crossings in Dublin and the third Tuesday at 7:30 p.m. at the Trinity Baptist Church on Olivina in Livermore. For more information, call 243-0928 or visit the national site at http://www.mothersandmore.org.